Holding Me Together
by dazzleme15
Summary: You always know that couple at school, the ones you know they will be together forever. That was me.I was in love, I had a future. Then one day, I didn't. I had one thing, and it was the most unexpected thing of all. Rated M for future chapters. ON HIATUS
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer - I own nothing. **

**This is just the preface, and it's very short. I hope you like it. Any feedback you can leave would be fantastic. **

**I am looking for a beta for this. I have a couple chapter's already written. I suck at re-reading my own work, so I need some help. **

**I'll update once a week. I think. **

**I have exams at the moment so it might not be as often. But summer is coming and I will have many free days down the beach with a pad and pen.  
**

"Bella," A familiar voice called. I didn't stop. My lying subconscious convinced me that they couldn't see me.

"Bella," The voice called again. It was closer this time.

"Isabella Swan, will you stop walking!" The voice shouted with an irritated huff. I stopped immediately but didn't turn. I was delaying the inevitable, I know, but it's like the natural tactic of looking at the spider as you slowly creep out of a room- not helpful to the situation, only your sanity.

"Bella," the voice said, in a whisper of a breath, harsh from jogging to catch up to me. I turned my head and smiled a second before my face came into his line of vision. Same face. Same perfect face. I swiveled the rest of my body in the direction of my head so I was fully facing him.

"Hi," I breathed. I never thought I would talk to him again. I never thought I would see him again.

"Hi," he breathed back.

"Why are you here?"

"I'm back,"

"You're back?" I asked; conformation for a heart too broken to be hopeful. "Alone?"

"For now," he said slowly. Maybe he had looked, and couldn't see. Had I changed? I thought I had, maybe it was just me who could see it?

"For now?" I asked. He was being cryptic.

"I have a feeling when they find out they will be back as well."

"Find out what?"

"That I've seen you."

"Seen me? You had to know I would be here, Jasper."

"I didn't know what to expect."

"Well, now you do. Still staying? You have a habit of bailing on me." My voice was hard and very serious, shielding the fact that inside my heart was breaking. I just wouldn't cry in front of him. Not again.

"I have to go. I've got to pick somebody up."

"Okay. But can I get your new number? I tried to call the old one, but it's been disconnected"

"No," I said, curtly. "I have to go." And with that I turned and left. I felt my eyes well up with tears, but I blinked them back. I had promised myself that I wouldn't shed another tear over the Cullen family. I quickly got to my car, and pulled away.

I drove to pick up Nathan.

"Momma!" He screamed as he saw my car pull up. I must have been really late. Everyone else was gone, and it was just Nathan and his teacher.

"Hey baby," I said, as he ran into my arms. I picked him up and hugged him close, filling the whole in my chest. He brought me comfort. He held me together, he always had.

**You like. Read and review. Any views welcomed. **

**Sarah x  
**


	2. Meetings

_**Disclaimer - I don't own anything. **_

_*~*~*~*~*March 19__th __*~*~*~*~*_

Have you ever had one of those experiences where you freak out? Where you just cannot handle everything going on around you? You black out, or just run out of the room? Yes, that has just happened.

Starting a new school is bad enough. I've never done that. I've been in the same class of people since kindergarten. Living in a small town does that. You don't get new kids, and most of the people in your kindergarten class stay in your class until you graduate. These people knew me, they knew how unbelievably shy I was. They knew that I blushed at almost every word someone said. They knew that I'm so clumsy I'm almost disabled.

The people here didn't know me. They didn't know my flaws; they didn't know me at all. So, when you walk into a classroom for the first time, and fall within seconds, you get embarrassed. Or in my case, you start to hyperventilate.

I quickly got to my feet and stumbled to a spare seat, Biology. This just made it so much better. I hate this lesson. I have no scientific ability what so ever.

As I sit down, everyone is staring at me. I try to clam myself, and bring down the red colour that I know I am. I sit down and get out my books, trying to act normally, as if nothing had happened. But, let's face it, I just walked into a room full of 30 kids that all know each other and fell flat on my face. That's not nothing, that's pretty huge.

As much as I try to keep my mind off the fact I just embarrassed myself, and that I'll never live it down, I can't. I feel my heart racing, and the sniggers that are coming from around the room are getting louder and louder in my mind. I feel my breath coming faster and faster and before I know what I am even doing, I'm running out of the room.

Running. I managed to run without falling. I had left my books on the desk, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Running out the room probably made this worse, but I couldn't stop myself. I walked down the corridor as quickly as I could, trying to calm myself. Being alone helped. I couldn't hear the gossiping, or laughing at my expense, it was just me. Then I heard some footsteps coming up behind me. I looked around, seeing if there was a room I could duck into. If it was teacher, I would be in trouble. On my first day, none the less. If it was a student, they would no doubt mock me, and I couldn't be dealing with that.

There wasn't anything around, but I saw a bathroom. It was male, but I could sneak in and out and hopefully the person wouldn't notice me. I went towards the door but before I could get my hands up to open the door a voice rang down the corridor.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," The voice was velvet and perfect, and made my racing heart skip a beat.

"Excuse me?" I muttered, turning my head to see who was following me.

"The men's bathroom. Surly you can see that it would make this much worse."

"Worse?" I shouted, and then blushed even more.

"Calm down." He breathed. I looked up at his face, and what I saw was indescribable. He was the perfection incarnate. His face was flawless, his skin a perfect pale. His jaw was strong and angular and his eyes... God, his eyes. They were a piercing green that could make any girl drop to her knees. My hands touched the door, which I'm sure was a reaction to seeing his eyes. I had to steady myself.

"I'm sorry. I'm just so embarrassed."

"I can see that," he smirked. Oh my, he smirked. That just added to his beauty. His half crooked smile topped of the look.

"What? Did you just come out here to rub it in?" I asked annoyed.

"No," he defended quickly. "I came to see if you were okay. That must have been hard for you."

"Thanks," I muttered, embarrassed again. Can anyone else see a common theme here?

"It's no trouble," he said, walking a little closer. "Do you want to take a walk? Calm down?" I looked up at him, and his eyes twinkled. They actually _twinkled_. I didn't think that actually happened. I thought it was books and TV that made guys out to be the be all and end all, apparently I was wrong.

"You don't have to do that. I'll walk by myself. You can go back to class."

"Please don't make me go back there," he said, grinning again.

"So, you didn't really come out here to check on me?" I asked, laughing a little. He chuckled a little as well, and the sound. It made my heart skip another beat. I'd be dead soon if he kept talking to me. I can see it know.

_Isabella Swan_

_Age 17 _

_Heart failure caused by unknown school beauty. _

"Oh no, I did. Getting out of that lesson is just an added bonus."

"Well, you don't have to stay with me. You can skip, and just say you were with me. I'll cover for you."

"No. As I said, getting out of Biology was an added bonus; the first one is getting to talk to a beautiful girl." I scoffed at that. He was teasing, he had to be.

"It's not nice to lie." I accused

"I was not lying. I would never lie to you." 'To me'?

"Sure, sure," I brushed him off.

"You can't take a compliment very well can you?"

"I've never needed to" I answered, maybe too honestly.

"I'm sure that's not true."

"It really is,"

"Well, we'll have to change that." Why was he doing this? Why was he being nice? I was a mess. I couldn't stand on my own two feet, and he caught me trying to hide in the men's bathroom.

"Please don't" I begged.

"Why?"

"The blushing, it's uncontrollable" I didn't need to do that anymore. It was horrible, and I wish I had some control over it.

"It's also very beautiful"

"Lying again," I muttered.

"You should trust me. I don't lie, and you are beautiful."

"I'm not going to believe you."

"Well, I will just keep telling you until you do."

"You don't have to do that,"

"I want to"

"Why?"

"I have no idea" He muttered. Well, that was evasive. I was going to ask what he meant but he started to speak again before I could. "So, about that walk?"

"What about it?"

"Can we go? Hanging around outside a bathroom, even though it's not public is making me nervous. I feel like George Michael should turn up any minute."

"Sure," I laughed. "Let's go." We walked off in the opposite direction of class, thank god.

We walked around the outside of the school buildings a few times before the bells signalled that the next class was to begin.

"We really should go back to class. You left all your stuff there, and so did I."

"Okay." I said hesitantly.

"Bella," he breathed. "You don't have to be embarrassed. Everyone has a bad experience. Would it help if I told you mine?"

"Sure," I said. If it kept him talking and I could hear his voice more, I would take anything. We started off in the direction of the biology room. He didn't say anything; he just kept glancing in my direction, and looking away when I saw him. It was cute. He was cute, not just in looks but he had little quirks that I was sure defined him as him. He had that perfect crooked grin, and that hair. I'm sure it couldn't be tamed. His eyes were the perfect piercing green.

"Your story..." I pressed. I wanted to hear his voice.

"Oh, really?" He said with that grin that made my knees go weak. I'm sure he must know that that grin could make a girl forget her name. As much as it affected me, I wanted to hear the story. At first, I thought he might make it up just to stop me feeling embarrassed, but I don't think he would lie to me. I don't know why I felt this connection to him. I had only spent 20 minutes with the guy, but something about him just made me trust him. He seemed to trust me also, or maybe he was just setting me up to destroy me. His not so secret looks made me doubt that he was just doing this to make my embarrassment worse. The way he was so nice, he couldn't be bad, could he?

"Yes, really." I confirmed.

"Well, it's not the great. Are you sure?" I chuckled at his reluctance.

"I want to hear it," I said honestly. "But, if you don't want to, that's fine." I finished, in a disappointed tone.

"It's okay. I said I would and I will, but it's really bad. I think most people have forgotten but it's still pretty fresh in my mind. I don't do gym at school because of this. I skip it."

"Every gym lesson?"

"Yep,"

"Don't the teachers get mad?"

"I think they understand."

"Oh my. It had to be really bad."

"It is. Are you sure you want to know? I don't want you to use it against me or anything?"

"Do you honestly think I would do that?" I said, a little hurt.

"No,"

"Okay then. My lips are sealed. Mom's the word. Can you think of any other clichés?" I giggled.

"I think I've got the picture." He chuckled. He took a deep breath and began.

"Well it was my third day of freshman year. I had moved out here with my parents after finishing middle school and started here for high school. I only knew Emmett who was my brother, but he was a senior. He had one of those personalities that attracted everyone. Every girl was swooning over him, every guy wanted to be like him. He's the popular jock. I used to hate him for that. I wanted that. I was quite shallow. I wanted people to hang out with me because I was the cool guy, not because I was Emmett's brother. But, I got a taste of popularity in my sophomore year. I wasn't that great, and we're good now. He's still the popular guy, but I don't hate him. I admire him. He handles it all so well, and he doesn't let it go to his head. He's very modest about his looks and everything. He's clever as well. Studying to get a full scholarship at college, academically as well. He's pretty amazing. Not that he would let anyone know that. He likes to hide his intelligence. He plays dumb a lot."

"You really love your brother don't you?"

"Yeah. He's good. He got me through a lot."

"That's nice. I wish I had that."

"Are you an only child?" I nodded. "That must have been boring?"

"Not really. I like being by myself."

"Me too." There was a little silence as we looked at each other. We were by the class now. Had we walked all that way, in the crowds of people and not noticed them? That was impossible, right? I never walked through a crowd of people and didn't fall flat on my face. That's amazing. I had to walk with Edward all the time.

"What have you got next?" Edward asked, as we walked into the class and grabbed our stuff. The teacher had gone, and so had all the other students. Thank god.

"I have calculus."

"Do you want to go?" he asked.

"Not really, but I have to. It's my first day and I can't skip. I already walked out of this lesson."

"Okay," he said, sounding a little disappointed. "Can we meet after school?"

"Yes. What do you have next?"

"Trig." He grimaced.

"Have fun!" I said sarcastically.

"Can I walk you to your lesson?" He asked.

"That's probably a good idea. I'm late already, getting lost won't help." He grinned and began to walk towards the door. I grabbed my books and quickly followed.

"So, have we got time to hear the rest of the story, or will it have to wait until after class?"

"After class is probably best." He said.

"You know, you really don't have to tell me. You barely know me, and if all is forgotten by those at school, I can handle not knowing."

"I want to tell you, and I think I know you rather well Isabella."

"Is that so?"

"Yes," he nodded.

"And how is that?"

"I'm a perceptive person. I'll admit you're harder to read that most people but I think I can give it a good shot."

"Okay then. Go for it."

"Well, you're a small town girl. Somewhere cold and wet, probably. You like time to yourself, and are very, very intelligent. You like to read. I'm going to guess by that copy of _Wuthering __H__eights _in your hand that it's your favourite. It's a little battered, and had obviously been read quite a few times. Am I right so far?" I nodded and waited for him to continue. "You're not shallow. You're just naturally beautiful. You don't need make up or clothes to show people that. You hide behind your books and hate being the centre of attention."

_Wait! Wait! Did he just call me beautiful? Oh My God! He did. Edward thinks I'm beautiful._

"You're a klutz, but I think it's kind of endearing. You blush at almost everything someone says, even when you have no reason to. It adds to the beauty, and make you even more appealing."

"I don't know about that." I wasn't attractive. I didn't appeal to people. I was plain old Bella Swan who buried her head in books and didn't live in the real world. I didn't have friends and I talked to people rarely. I kept myself to myself and that was that.

"You must have noticed all the male attention you've been getting since this morning. If you get taken, many male hearts will break."

"No they won't," I muttered embarrassed.

"Oh they will. I can quite easily say that."

"You're just being nice."

"And truthful."

"If that is what you need to believe."

"It is. And this is your class Miss Swan. Have a lovely lesson. I'll meet you here after. I can't wait to finish my analysis. You'll be surprised at how much I know about you from the 30 minutes we've spent together."

"Okay, I'll see you here." He began to walk away, so I quickly stopped him . "Edward," I called. "Thank you." He simply gave me that crooked grin and walked off. I walked into calculus and apologised for being late. It looked like none of these people were in Biology so I think I was safe here. I told the teacher I got lost, and sat down. I got my notebook out, with the intentions of making notes, but I didn't I just sat there staring at nothing. I wasn't day dreaming or fantasising, I was just there. I was lucky the teacher didn't call on me. I was screwed if he did.

I heard the bell ring, and saw everyone gather up there things. I gathered my things up slowly, giving Edward time to get to the class. I didn't want to be the loser waiting outside of class on my own. I got outside the room and saw Edward leaning up against the wall.

"Hi," I breathed, as I looked him over.

"Hi," he said back. We began to walk, but neither of us said anything more. We got to the car lot and then I realised that him meeting me was no use because we both had separate cars and I would have to go home and so would he.

"What do you want to do? We could drop your truck off and then go get ice cream or something."

"Ice cream?" I giggled.

"What? Do you want something more mature? We could go and get coffee, though I would much prefer ice cream."

"Ice cream is fine." I laughed. "I'll drop my truck off and you can drive. If that's okay."

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll follow you to your house."

"You're not going to stalk me are you?"

"No," He laughed. "You seem willing; I have no need to watch you against your will."

"Okay," I giggled. "You're right. I am willing."

"Good, I was hoping you would say that." We both walked over to my truck, Edward following me. He knew I had a truck, it had come up when we were talking to each other on our earlier walk, but I don't think he realised how old it was. It was a rusty mess but I loved it. It had character, and it got me from A to B. Most importantly it was cheap. Like free cheap. My dad's best friend can't drive anymore and gave it to Charlie. Charlie has his police cruiser so he just gave it to me. I was strangely overwhelmed when he gave it to me. It was heap of junk, but it was my heap of junk.

"This is terrible," he said.

"No it's not. It may be old, but it runs well enough for me"

"You like this?"

"I love it."

"I'm sorry if I offended you, it's just really old."

"I prefer to think of it as vintage. But you didn't offend me. Everyone says a lot worse things about it."

"Okay, vintage. Nice" He laughed and I joined in. I went to get the door but Edward beat me to it. He opened the door and helped me in. It was very gentlemanly and sweet.

"It's nice to know that chivalry isn't dead."

"I was simply being a gentleman. If I hadn't I'm sure my father would have found out and had me castrated. He holds high opinions on the youth of today. He doesn't like how they are, he think a boy should be the perfect gentleman. Treat a beautiful lady well. And you are a beautiful lady."

"Thanks," I muttered blushing. I was permanently red around him, it was horrible. I closed the door and waited until he went to his car. He had a Volvo. He didn't seem like the Volvo kind of guy, but what did I know. I started the truck and began to exit the lot. I had been completely oblivious to those around me, but I had to pay attention now so I didn't crash. I made sure Edward could see the truck. Not that he could miss it; it was huge and stood out like a sore thumb. I drove home quickly. It was only a five minutes drive, but it was a twenty minutes walk so I chose to drive. Edward followed easily and pulled up outside. I pulled the truck into the drive, and got out. I ran over to Edward and told him I would just explain to my father that I was going out. It would shock him, but he'd get over it. I ran inside dumped my school books and put my cell and money in my pocket.

I ran back outside and climbed into Edwards Volvo. He was playing music, classical I think. It sounded like Debussy. He quickly flicked it off when I got it, and started the engine.

"Ice cream?" He asked with a smile.

"Was that Debussy?" I asked.

"You know about him?"

"Yes, Claire Du Lune is the best."

"It is," he agreed with smile. "Ice cream?" He asked again.

"Sure. You chose where, I don't know town to well yet. I haven't been here long."

"Okay, I know the best place. The ice cream is to die for." He said excitedly.

"You're just a big kid inside, aren't you?"

"When it comes to this ice cream, yes, yes I am and I'm not afraid to admit it." He laughed and began to drive.

"Is it really that good?"

"It really is," he laughed. We drove in silence all the way. It wasn't that far, and it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. It was nice. We got to, what I assumed was the ice cream place and Edward got out. He quickly jogged around to my side of the door and opened it.

"Thank you kind Sir," I mocked.

"You are more than welcome, my lady," he said back, playing along. We walked into the building and it was pretty busy, it must be good. I went to look at the ice cream, but I couldn't choose. There was too much and I was the worst person for making decisions. I couldn't decide what was the best way to get out of bed, let alone anything else. I looked at Edward for advice.

"What's good?" I asked

"Everything,"

"Not helping."

"Erm okay. Well you can go classic or bizarre, which one?"

"Um, classic. I'm going to play it safe."

"Okay. Then I would say vanilla or strawberry."

"Okay, I think I'll go with strawberry."

"Good choice. I'll have that as well." He walked up the counter and got two pots of ice cream. He handed me one and then we went to sit down. I had a little taste, and he was right. This ice cream was to die for.

"What do you think?" he asked, tasting a little of his own.

"It's really good."

"I told you."

"You did." I said, tasting a little more. "So..." I trailed off.

"So... What?" He asked.

"The story?" I reminded him, looking down as I did so. I didn't want to push, but I wanted to know about it. I felt this uncontrollable need to know everything about him. It was unhealthy, to say the least. I had known him for all of a day and I felt so attached. I had no idea why. Why did I feel connected to him? Why did I want to know everything about him? Why did I want to spend time with him so much? It was unhealthy, but I couldn't do a thing about it. I liked this feeling, it was fresh and new. It felt good. I didn't feel alone for once. I had a friend, at least I hoped I did.

"Oh," He said. "Okay. Where did we get to before?"

"Just that you skip gym all the time."

"Right. Well it was a few days into my freshman year and we had gym for the first time. When we went to change I realised that I must have picked up Emmett's gym clothes. I couldn't do anything about it, so I got changed into them. I was too scared to tell the teacher. I thought it sounded like a poor excuse."

"What's so wrong with wearing your brother's gym clothes?"

"You haven't seen Emmett have you?" he asked rhetorically. "Well, he's a big guy. Like huge. He's like twice the size of me, and well I was small back then, so it was even worse."

"Oh," I said. _I was feeling smart today,_ I thought sarcastically.

"Yeah" he chuckled. "I put them on and tried to do the shorts up as much as I could. I pulled the strings pretty tight. They seemed secure enough. I got out into the courts and we were playing basketball. I thought I would take it slow, just in case they came a little loose. I looked like a right idiot. I was wearing a top double my size and the shorts were half way down my shins."

"Aww!" I said, imagining it. "I bet it was cute."

"It was anything but cute." He said bitterly. "But, anyway. I got really into the game and forgot about the shorts. I was about to make a basket, when it happened." He paused, seeing if I caught on. "They came really loose, and before I could get my hands to keep them up, they fell down. In front of the entire class. Not only that, but everyone in that class was in all my other class. It wasn't until sophomore year, when I spent the summer filling out, that I stopped being that guy. The guy that exposed himself to the school. It was one of the worst moments ever. It's funny to look back on now, but at the time I thought I would die from embarrassment. I spent all my time with Emmett so my class mates wouldn't pummel me."

"Oh, that must have been horrible. I can't even imagine..." I trailed off. I had a habit of doing that. I couldn't think of what to say. I hoped I could convey how sorry I was for him.

"You can laugh if you want to."

"Why would I laugh?"

"Most people do. My dad walked out of the room when I told him so he didn't laugh in my face. Emmett wasn't so kind, he laughed in my face."

"That's horrible."

"Not really," he shrugged "I would have done the same to anyone who told me the story."

"Is that why you came to see if I was okay?"

"Yes and no" he answered.

"And no?" I questioned.

"It's nothing," he defended, looking down at his ice cream.

"Please?" I asked.

"It's nothing, Bella." He said curtly.

"Okay," I said. It shouldn't have hurt, but it did. He was being so open with me and now he just cut me off. I don't know why he did. It's not like it was anything personal. It was a simple question. I only wanted to know why he came after me. Could I not know that?

We finished our ice cream in silence and we both got up to leave. We hadn't said another word since that. It was awkward now, and I hated it. Maybe that friend idea had gone straight out of the window. We reached the Volvo and he opened my door again, but he didn't say anything this time. He got in a began to drive in the direction of my house. There was a shift in the air, and it was horrible.

He pulled up outside my house and I began to get out. He looked straight ahead and didn't even look at me when I muttered my goodbye. I quickly slammed the door shut and walked towards my house. I felt my eyes began to fill with tears. I managed to get inside before any fell. This had been one of the best and worst days ever. As I closed the front door, I heard the car pull away. I quickly said hello to Elizabeth and went to my room. My aunt was a woman of few words and didn't even enquire as to where I had been. He trusted me. Most people would be grateful for that, but I wanted that. I wanted my parents to care, or at least show that they cared. I knew they loved me, but they had no idea how to show it. I had always taken care of my mother. I moved because I couldn't handle it anymore. I took care of my aunt, though not nearly as much as my mom.

I sunk down onto my bed and pulled my shoes off. What had changed? One minute he was fine, and then he just snapped. Was that normal? I had little experience in the social world but I knew that people didn't change like that. I had had some interaction with people. I laid on top of my covers, still in my clothes and coat and fell asleep. My dreams were plagued with happy sadness. Edward filled them but they prominently featured the change in his behaviour only the extent of it was much worse. He was meaner, and violent, and just horrid. My imagination got away with me, and at some point in the night I screamed myself awake. I must have scared Charlie half to death. I commonly had nightmares, but I never screamed about them. I normally slept through them all, but with him in them I couldn't. Having that connection broken terrified me. It was stupid, and I knew it. Why did I feel such a connection to a boy that I had known only for a day? This question plagued my mind as I drifted back into sleep.

_Why? _

**_Why? Indeed. _**  
**_Stay tuned to find out. _**  
**_Read and review (if you would like to, Edward would like you to.) _**  
**_Sarah x _**


	3. Jasper

_**Disclaimer - I don't own anything. **_

_*~*~*~*~*March 20__h __*~*~*~*~*_

I dreaded the day I had at school. Day 2 of hell, as I was referring to it. Yes, it was childish. No, I don't care.

Yesterday I stupidly let myself get optimistic and thought that I wouldn't have to do this alone. Edward seemed to get along with me, until the end of the evening. I still couldn't figure out the change, but there was an extreme one.

Was I letting this play on my mind too much? Should I care this much? Yes and no were the answers, but I was having trouble accepting that. My thoughts were on a reel, like the really old movies. I just kept seeing them over and over, and if I was quite honest they were boring me. I couldn't keep thinking about him. I couldn't keep replaying that change, and keep searching for the thing that changed him. I had to stop.

_You've knew him for a day, get over it! _I thought to myself, but my mind wouldn't listen and I just kept thinking about it.

I slowly dressed for school after showering. I had to leave by 8 to get to school in that truck of mine. It wasn't one for speed, but I loved it anyway. It was the first thing I had acquired here; I got it when I turned 16 as a present from my father. He got it for me when I came to visit; I usually came to visit every summer for a week or two. I tried to keep the visits as short as possible as I spent most of my time at my Charlie's house, reading or writing and I socialized very little when I was here. If I was only here for a week, what was the point in friends? I'd never see them, and then we'd grow apart and so on and so on.

I couldn't regret what brought me here though; I was doing it for my mother. She and her new husband, Phil, were loved up. It was sickening really, I thought as the teenager that I was meant to be the one who was caught making out, and steeling lustful glances, and shamefully flirting, but no. My mother was not one for being subtle; if she wanted something, she got it. I don't even want to mention what she wanted most of the time; I'm sure you can guess. It was a pretty open home and, before Phil, that was okay. With Phil, I was permanently grossed out. I was forced to sit through the meals and the drinks. My mother went through a stage of wanting to be a proper family, we had to sit down at the kitchen table, say grace and everyone had to stay until we had had finished eating. It would have been nice if Renee could function on a basic level. She was outgoing, and eager to share her views. She would openly talk about sex, and though I understood about the act, no child should have to hear about her mother's sex life. I could tell you so many things that even her husband shouldn't know. I still cringe just thinking about it.

Anyway, I moved here so they could travel. It had been the one dream that Renee had held onto throughout her life. She had always wanted to travel, so now, she is. She was happy, and I was happy about that. It was just an added bonus that I got away from all the sex talk. Charlie didn't really talk about things like that. He was the kind of person that communicates the necessary things, like me, he is shy and liked time alone. He had a few friends and was a typical guy. His evenings consisted of high fat meals whilst watching sports, and his weekends were the time to fish. He had to travel quite a way, so he would go all weekend and stay at a cabin he had brought in Forks. It was a couple hours' drive from Seattle, so it was the most convenient.

He must have trusted me, because he seemed willing to leave me alone in house all weekend. He must be so happy I'm not to partying type; he'd never get to leave if he did think I was like that. He didn't have a lot of money, and it must have taken him a while to get his house this nice. He must have saved a lot. Being in a cop didn't really pay the best, even when it's only you.

I pulled my books into my bag, and threw it over my shoulder. I began to make my way towards the truck and dumped my bag in the bed. I searched for my keys when I heard a car pulling up behind me. I took a quick peek over my shoulder to see who it was. I twisted my entire body around when I saw the familiar silver paint. I stood in shock for a minute until I pulled myself out of the state and turned to my truck. I could be just as mean as him. I could give him the cold shoulder. Couldn't I?

I heard him come out behind me, and paused before he let out a jagged breath. I paused in my search for the keys that I couldn't find and turned. I could feel his eyes burning a hole into my back. I needed to turn around. I needed to see him. I turned to find him closer than I originally expected and almost walked right into his chest.

"Hi," He breathed, looking into my eyes.

"Hi," I said in a shaky voice.

"I'm so sorry." He said quickly.

"Get to the point, why don't you?" I scoffed.

"But, Bella, I am so, so sorry."

"Okay," I muttered and turned back to the car.

"You can't do that. You can't just ignore me."

"Watch me."

"Bella, please." He begged. He sounded so pitiful. It was horrible and I felt a pull in my chest. It can't be right to feel like this when I've only spent 3 hours of my life with him, can it?

"What was that yesterday?" I said, facing away from him. If his voice could wear me down, what would his face do?

"I just… I never… I don't know." he finally said. "I never meant to be that horrible. We had such a lovely time."

"Yeah," I sighed. "We did," I finished, turning to see him. He looked so sad. His eyes, so happy yesterday, told another story, and I could see that he meant what he was saying. He was sorry.

"Look, can I give you a ride to school?"

"Okay," I said, a little hesitantly.

"Thank you." He said, with a beaming smile that warmed my heart. _Bella, pull yourself together. You sound like you're in love with him for crying out loud. _Edward grabbed my back in a gentlemanly way and led me to his car. I ducked my head shyly when he opened my door for me. It was nice, and very chivalrous.

We rode to school in silence, but it was comfortable. I wanted to ask what happened. I wanted a little more than just an 'I don't know'. It didn't give me much to go on. Did I offend him in any way?

What did I do that made him so cold so quickly?

Even my repetitiveness is annoying me now, but I wanted to know.

When we pulled up at school, Edward made no attempt to exit the car, so I just sat there. Now it was becoming uncomfortable.

"Was it me?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"What? No, of course not."

"Then why?" I said. He opened his mouth but before he could say anything I interrupted, "And don't just say I don't know."

"I just… What is this?" He said, answering my question with another question. Evasive much?

"What's what?"

"This." He said, motioning between me and him.

"This doesn't have to be anything."

"But it does. Don't tell me you don't feel the connection." I just remained silence. I did feel it, and there was no point in denying it. "I think we should just be friends." I think my heart shattered when he said that. I shouldn't have expected anything else though, to be perfectly honest. The guy was like Adonis and I was, no Aphrodite.

"If that's what you want, we're friends."

"Is that why it was yes and no?" I asked, as I still hadn't gotten the answer I wanted.

"Yes, I mean I followed you because of what happened to me and I felt that connection and had no idea what to make of it. I didn't want to lose it. I've felt anything like it before."

_Just friends. _I reminded myself. _We are just friends._ How can he expect me to be _just friends _when he's talking about this connection we have that he's never felt before? It sounds so romantic; I just wish he meant it romantically.

"Thank you for being honest."

"I can't not be."

"Thank you all the same." We climbed out of the car and I headed towards class. We had biology first thing. I was both happy and sad about this. I hated this class for the reason that I made a complete fool out of myself in front of the whole class. I liked it because Edward was in it, and that was always a plus.

The class wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. There were no snide comments, at least not out loud. I just got on with the work and tired to stop myself from looking well to be honest staring at Edward. The rest of my classes were awful. Trig being the worse. Worst of all, Edward was in none of them.

"Hey, what class do you have before lunch?"

"Trig," I grimaced.

"Well, I'll meet you outside. We can have lunch together, if that's okay?"

"That's perfect." I stopped outside of a class and so did Edward.

"Well, this is me." I said, like some teen girl in a cheesy romance movie.

"Have fun," He laughed. "I'll see you at lunch."

"See you at lunch." I walked into the class room and sat down at the seat I was assigned yesterday.

I pulled out my notebook and prepared to look somewhat interested. It was English and we were studying Austen. This stuff wasn't new to me; I read these books in middle school. I could probably recite passages from Austen's work in my sleep.

"Hello class," the English teacher began, and he went on and on and on about things that are purely common sense.

The next two classes were much the same. I really didn't do much, and neither did anyone else. I don't know how the teacher can teach in classes where it is obvious that nobody is paying the littlest bit of attention.

I suffered through Trig, only getting through it with one thought. I have a lunch _date _with Edward.

I packed up my bag slowly, giving Edward time to meet me. I wasn't sure what his class was so it may take him sometime to get here.

I walked outside and saw him leaning against the wall with his ear buds in. I quickly walked over to him and poked him in the side. He almost jumped out of his skin, it was hilarious.

"Sorry," I said, through my giggles. He smiled down at me and we began walking towards the cafeteria. "What were you listening to?"

"Nothing." he said, smiling.

"Nothing? Really? You were just standing there with earphones in listening to nothing." I joked.

"Okay, Miss Smart Ass, I was listening to Journey."

"Journey. Not too bad. Only a little musical education will be required."

"Musical education? You think you can teach me things about music." He laughed. "You are sadly mistaken. I could teach you a thing or two, it you want."

"If that's what you need to believe, Mr. Cullen. But I think I could teach you something."

"Okay, Miss Swan. We will start from the 50's and we'll see who needs to be educated. I'll start." He smirked. He was underestimating my musical know how. "Who sang _Honey Hush?" _

"Joe Turner." I answered quickly. "Who said "I got a girl named Sue. She knows just what to do?"

"Little Richard. Bella give me some credit, make it a little harder."

"Okay, 60's then. I'll beat you on this."

We continued to question each other till we got to the lunch room. Neither one of us would admit defeat, so for now we are and no one is educating anyone. I thought it was highly hilarious when I asked a Britney Spears question and he answered quicker than you can say _yes. _I laughed so hard, he just stared at me with a slight smirk on his face. It was cute.

_No! It wasn't. He isn't. He's just your friend!. Just your friend. _

"So, I normally have dinner with my brother, would you like to meet him?"

"Yeah, that would be nice." I nodded. We cued up and got our lunch. Edward insisted on getting mine, much to my dislike. It couldn't stop him though. The man was quicker than a cheetah. He led me to a table where a guy twice the size of Edward was sitting, and a guy about Edward's size, with a mess of blond hair hanging around his face. He was obviously related to Edward, he was his spitting image, just blonde and not that unusual shade of bronze that sits upon Edwards head. He couldn't be Emmett, the brother Edward mentioned. He was too small, so I was left wondering who he was and what he was to Edward. They looked to similar to be anything other than brothers, but you never know.

"Hey Em," Edward said, setting his tray down on the table. I followed suit and kept my head low. I hated meeting new people. I might as well paint my face red from the amount of blushing that occurs when I meet them. They could be the nicest person in the world and I world still blush like there was no tomorrow. There had to be something wrong with me.

"Hey bro," The huge guy said looking up. "And hi to you too," He said looking in my direction.

"Easy Em. Rose might have your balls if she catches you talking to another girl."

"Shut up, dick. She'll be just fine with it. It's not like I'm gonna start banging her on the table top is it."

"Hi. I am here." I said, sarcastically. It was a shock the words made their way out. I just couldn't stop them. He was talking about me like I wasn't there.

"Sarcastic. I like her already. So, you're Edwards…"

"Friend." I finished.

"A beautiful friend at that," The blonde guy added with a slight smile.

"Thank you." I said, flushing furiously.

"Bella, sit." Edward said, motioning to the seat next to him. I sat down and hooked my bag on the back of my chair.

"So, Eddie," Emmett said. "How long have you been hiding her from us?"

"I haven't been hiding her from you. I just met her yesterday."

"Oh, you move fast." Emmett chuckled.

"I didn't move at all. We're friends. She needed some… help… yesterday, so I was kind enough to help her out." Edward then turned to me and continued to speak. "Bella, this is my overly forward brother, Emmett. I apologise for his behaviour in advance, because it will get worse. That I can promise you."

"Nice to meet you," I said, taking a quick glance at Edward and then Emmett and then back.

"You to Bella. And Edwards' right, my behaviour will get worse, I'm just not going to apologise for it. It's part of my charm."

"Is that along with the big headed thing?" Edward teased.

"You're damn right it is." Emmett laughed. Just then the blonde guy cleared his throat and Edward's eyes shot in his direction.

"Bella, this is Jasper. My cousin. Jazz this is Bella. She's new, like you."

"Nice to meet you Bella," Jasper said, smiling at me.

"You too."

"So, when did you start?" He asked.

"Just yesterday." I said. "You?"

"Two weeks ago."

"So, how do you like it here?"

"It's okay. It's nice to be near family. I lived in Texas all my life, so I didn't get to see them that much."

"That's good. I moved to get away from my family. It must be nice to have one you're close to. Or, at least not that you don't mind being around."

"That it is. So, where are you from?"

"Forks. It's like this little town on the Olympic Peninsula. It's horrible."

"It must feel liberating to be in such a big city then."

"Yeah, it is. It's nice to see new faces." I said, glancing at Edward. "I've been around the same few people my whole life. It was getting boring."

"I hear that." He said. "So, who'd you move here with? Your mom?"

"I moved in with my aunt."

"Oh, you're mom still in Forks?"

"No, actually. She lives in Arizona, I think. I'm not all that close. I haven't seen her in a few years."

"You're amazingly calm about that fact. Most people would be devastated."

"Most people don't have a mom like me. She's a free spirit. She can't so being tied down. That's why she's been married four times. Nothing seems to stick."

"Four times. Nice" he chuckled. It was easy to have a conversation with him. He was just one of those people you can have a conversation with. I'm not a social person, and don't open up to many people. Or anyone really. It was only really Edward, and now Jasper.

"Yeah. None of them lasted more than a year."

"So, did you live with your dad before?"

"Yeah. He's the chief of police in Forks."

"Police Chief. You're a good girl then?"

"You could say that," I chuckled. The conversation between me and Jasper flowed easily through the rest of lunch. Emmett and Edward seemed engaged in a conversation also. I heard a few sports terms being thrown around so I stayed clear of the talk.

Edward walked me to my next class and told me to meet him by his Volvo at the end of the day. I agreed and went into class. The next two classes passed it a quick amount of time. I took the notes I needed and took down the homework I needed to do. It was relatively simple, so I should get it out of the way pretty quickly. It's not like I have a social life at night so I would stay in a get it done tonight.

I walked over to where Edward parked his Volvo. He was there waiting on the passenger side of the car, with his ear buds in again. I didn't make him jump this time, he saw me coming. He pulled out his earphones and turned off his iPod off and opened my door, I climbed in as gracefully as I could manage. He quickly got into the driver's seat and started the car.

"How was your last couple of lessons?" He asked as he backed out of the space.

"Okay, I guess."

"What did you have?"

"Calculus,"

"Nice," he chuckled. "It can't nearly be as fun as having art."

"You not good at art?" I asked

"It depends on what you classify as art," he said, somewhat cryptically.

"Painting?" I said.

"Yeah, I can't paint."

"Okay, then. What do you classify as art?"

"Music."

"Music? What like playing an instrument?"

"Or instruments." he said, glancing at me and then back at the road.

"You play?"

"Yeah."

"What?"

"Piano and guitar."

"Really, I played piano too."

"Played?"

"Yeah, I haven't got a piano now. I haven't played in years."

"Well, they say it's like riding a bike. You never forget it. Maybe you could come over to mine and

have a play around."

"Are you serious?" I squeaked excitedly.

"Yeah. We could go now, or another time. It's up to you."

"Can we go now?" I asked.

"Sure. You'll have to deal with Emmett though." he smirked.

"That's fine."

"Oh, and Jasper."

"Jasper will be there?" I said, with a huge smile.

"Yeah. You seemed to get on with him pretty well."

"He's a nice guy."

"He is. He's just as shy as you seem to be though. I'm shocked he even spoke."

"He didn't seem that shy. He was pretty open."

"So were you," he said sarcastically.

"He was easy to talk too." I defended.

"Am I not?"

"Yeah. I wouldn't be here if you weren't."

"Why didn't you tell me about your mom?"

"I've spent about 4 hours in your company." I said, with raised eyebrows. Why was he getting

pissy?

"You're right." He sighed. "So, you live with your aunt?"

"Yeah. Elizabeth. She's my dad's sister."

"Why'd you move with her?"

"I couldn't handle the small town life my dad was living. I just wanted to feel free."

"And do you?"

"A little. I haven't really seen the city or anything. I moved in the day before school, so I haven't had

chance."

"Well, you just missed spring break, but next holiday we will go exploring, if you want?"

"I would love that."

"Good. I might convince Emmett and Jazz to come."

"That'd be nice."

"It would."

"So, does Jasper live with you?"

"Yeah. He wanted out of Texas. His dad isn't the greatest guy."

"Where's his mom?"

"She died after giving birth to him."

"Oh my god. That must be horrible. And there I was going on about how pathetic my mom is. He doesn't even have one."

"Hey, it's fine Bella. If it bothered him he would have said."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. He's shy but if you offend him in any way you will know about it. He's got a temper."

"It's always the quite ones."

"It is indeed," he smirked. The rest of the ride was silent. Edward flicked on the CD player and Linkin

Park began to blare out of the speakers. He quickly turned it down, and looked over too see my reaction.

"Nice. I'm starting to like you even more."

"Good. I wouldn't want you not to like me." He chuckled. "This could be the beginning of a beautiful

friendship."

"You've got taste in movies also."

"You have no idea." We continued to listen to the CD until the car came to a stop. I looked out of the window and saw a house (if you can call it that). It was massive. I mean like 8 of my aunt's house. It was mostly made of windows, but those mirrored windows so you couldn't see in.

"Wow," I breathed as I heard my door open. I stumbled out and looked at the house in complete awe. "You live here?"

"Yes," he said shyly, looking down.

"And how many of there are you?"

"Just me, Emmett, my mom and my dad. Oh, and now Jazz"

"You do realise that you could fit about 8 of my aunt's houses in this mansion."

"Really, is it that big? I don't notice anymore. I've lived here for so long."

"Don't notice?" I muttered to myself. "How can you not notice?"

Edward didn't answer as he led me up to the door and pulled out a key to unlock the door. If I thought that the outside was spectacular; then there are no words to describe the inside. It was phenomenal. Everything was a pristine white, with the exception of the couch and the loveseat. They stood out, being a deep crimson colour. We walked through the foyer as I looked in each room we passed. We must have passed the living room and a bathroom and one of the rooms had the door closed so I couldn't see in.

We walked through one door to go into the kitchen. OH MY GOD! Every appliance was shining silver and all the work tops were spotless. They were all marble and sat onto of very elegant looking cupboard and draws. Not one thing looked out of place, until Edward dumped his bag on the breakfast island.

"Edward, this house is amazing."

"Thanks." he said, walking over to the fridge. "Would you like a drink?"

"Some water would be great."

"Water it is." he said, handing me a bottle of water. I muttered my thanks and continued to look around the kitchen. I could only imagine what kind of cooking could go down here. Not that it looks like it's been used, ever.

"Would you like to meet my parents?" Edward asked, after a moment of silence.

"Erm, I mean…That would…Sure" I said.

"You don't have to Bella."

"No, I want to. I just… What if they don't like me?"

"And if they don't?"

"I won't be welcome."

"And that would bother you. Not being welcome in the home of someone you've spent four hours with."

"It would bother me a lot." I said honestly.

"Why?"

"That connection." I said, looking away from him.

"Right, the connection. Is it just me?"

"Yeah. Why?" He sounded jealous.

"Just, well... You and… You seemed…"

"Spit it out, Edward." I laughed.

"You and Jasper." He stated, simply.

"I spoke to him. Is that not okay?"

"It's fine. You just were so open to him so easily. I had to bribe you with ice cream."

"Well, Jaspers got nothing on you. And, can I meet your parents. I want to make nice."

"Okay." He muttered as he led me out of the kitchen, to a stair case. It was filled with pictures of his family. School pictures of Edward and Emmett, and then family photos at places like the Zoo. I could see why Edward was so amazingly handsome. His mother and father were beautiful. It's strange to call a man who's old enough to be your father beautiful, but you're not looking at this picture. I mean, wow. He could easily pass for 30.

"My dad's not home yet. He's still at the hospital."

"He's a doctor?"

"Yes, a trauma surgeon and a pretty amazing one at that." Edward beamed with pride. It was evident that Edward loved his father.

"What does your mother do?"

"She's an architect."

"Really?"

"Yeah, she designed this place. She tried her hand at interior designing too."

"Power family, much?" I muttered, feeling insignificant. My dad was a cop but that was it and it's not like being a cop in a small town is any kind of achievement. Nothing happens there. Ever. Edward came to a halt at a room just at the top of the stairs. He knocked on the door and opened it ever so slightly.

"Hey mom," Edward said, opening the door fully. "I have someone I would like you to meet."

"Hello, darling." The woman said, as she put down a pencil and made her way to Edward. She kissed his cheek and turned to me. "I take it this is the beautiful young lady is who you want me to meet?"

"Yes, mom, this is Bella. Bella, this is my mother, Esme."

"It's nice to meet you Mrs. Cullen." I said shyly.

"We will have none of that. It's Esme. Mrs. Cullen is my mother-in-law. And, well, she's a bitter old shrew." She laughed, and Edward joined in. They had melodic laughs. They fitted perfectly. It was like listening to some kind of vocal symphony.

"So, Bella, Edward did tell me a little about you last night. He says you're new in town?" I nodded in conformation, embarrassed that Edward was telling people about me. "You will have to have Edward show you around some time."

"I already offered." Edward smiled.

"Good." she smiled at her son. "I trust that Edward is being the gentleman I raised him to be?"

"He's the perfect gentleman. It's nice to know chivalry isn't dead."

"That it is."

"Well, me and Bella are going to head to the music room. Have fun with the plans."

"I will. Your father will be home around six. He promised. Bella, will you be staying for dinner?"

"Oh, I don't want to intrude."

"Nonsense. You're quite welcome."

"Oh, are you sure?"

"Please stay for dinner, Bella. I know Jasper would like to see you again."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." Esme said excitedly. "I'll get started around five. We are having lasagne tonight, is that okay?"

"That perfect, mom." Edward said, kissing her on the cheek. He then turned and motioned for me to exit the room.

"It was a pleasure to meet you Mrs.…Esme." I said.

"You too sweetheart." Edward made his way back downstairs and I followed. He stopped at the room where the door was closed on the way in; he opened the door and walked in. I followed him in; it was amazing, like the rest of the house. In the middle of the room sat a huge black grand piano. Around that there was a selection of guitars. Some acoustic and some electric. There were spectacular.

"What do you think?" Edward said, with a cocky smirk.

"I think that it's indescribable. Is it all for you? Or do other people play."

"No, this is my room."

"Amazing." I breathed.

"My sentiments exactly." He said leading me over the piano stool. He sat down and removed the cover to reveal the ivory keys. I just stared at them. He was looking at me expectantly.

"Do you want to play?"

"I haven't got any music." At that point he got up and made his way over to a filing cabinet in the back of the room.

"What would you like to play?"

"What do you have?"

"Too much," He laughed. I got up and went over to have a look. It was organised like nothing else.

One draw was labelled guitar solos. Another called piano solos. Then instrumentals, voice and finally, my compositions."

"You write music?"

"Erm, yeah." he said nervously.

"Is there anything you can't do?"

"I… erm…I don't…"

"Rhetorical question." I said, putting him out his misery.

"Can you sing?" I said, pointing to the voice draw.

"I try."

"Can you play something for me?"

"Okay. Like what?"

"I don't know. Something you wrote? If you want? I mean, if it's personal, you don't have to."

"It's fine Bella." He reached into the bottom draw and grabbed a file. He walked back over to the piano and opened the file. I saw the score that was written. It was in an elegant hand written script and the notes were composed perfectly on the sheet. It was entitled Esme. He took as deep breath and let his fingers touch the keys. Soon music began to fill the air, and his fingers were flying over the keys at an almost inhuman speed. The music that filled the air was full of love and happiness and it was very much evident that he wrote it about someone he loved. I just stood there unsure of what to do. All I could do was listen to the sounds of music as it filled the room. I have no idea how long the piece lasted, but I just knew that I never wanted it to end. Edward took another deep breath and closed the file. He turned around in the seat and looked at me.

"It wasn't that bad, was it?" He asked, walking up to me.

"What?" I said, in a croaky voice. It was only then that I felt moisture on my cheek. I was crying.

"No, it was beautiful Edward. I can't believe you wrote it."

"Thank you," he said, as he filed away the piece of music. "Would you like a go?"

"I don't think I can possibly follow that."

"I'm sure you can." He said as he handed me a piece of music. I flipped open the cover and saw the title Clare De Lune, Piano Solo.

"I can't play this. It's too good."

"Can you try? For me"

"Okay," I said, as he led me to the stool. He sat me down and took the music and opened it out in front of me.

"I'll flip it for you, okay?" I nodded, as I looked at my lap. Could I do this? Could I remember how to play? It had been so long. What if I've forgotten how to play? That would be so embarrassing. I couldn't handle that. Edward would think I'm a complete imbecile.

"Please don't laugh if I mess up."

"Like I would laugh"

"Just promise me you won't."

"I promise Bella. I would never laugh at you." With that I placed my fingers over the opening notes and closed my eyes for a second. I tried to remember what I did when I used to play. What calmed me down? Nothing came to mind so I just decided to go for it. I began to play the notes that were written.

It was then that I felt it. That is what used to calm me. The music filling the air, knowing that it was coming from my fingers and my fingers alone. That was an amazing feeling and I don't think anything else can compare. It gives you a confidence boost, even if it only lasts until the song is over. It's nice to feel that when you are so used to be self conscious all day long, everyday of your life.

I continued to play as Edward turned the pages for me. He had a huge smile plastered on his face, and I'm sure the one I had on my face was similar. As the music began to end, I felt the euphoria begin to wear off. I felt my blushing, embarrassed self inhabit my body again and I gave a disappointed sigh as I played the last note.

"Bella, that was absolutely amazing." Edward smiled.

"It really was," I heard another voice say. I looked up to see Jasper standing in the door way. He leaning up against the door frame and I noticed the door was wide open. It meant other people could hear. A blush covered my face as I looked down in my lap.

I was so happy right then. I needed to play more often. Maybe I could get a keyboard. I could save. I would save. I needed to feel a little more free, and playing gave that too me.


	4. Fallen

_**Disclaimer - I don't own anything. **_

_**Sorry about the long wait for an update. It's been a hectic time in my real life. School and work went mad and I had no free time to write. I'm getting a head start on the chapters though. I've got a couple of free days coming up so I'm going get as much written as I can.**_

_**EDIT: Had to make a few small changes. Nothing too noticeable. Enjoy.  
**_

_**Sorry again. **_

_*~*~*~*~*March 20__th - __part 2 __*~*~*~*~*_

There was an awkward moment and Edward and Jasper both looked in my direction.

"Edward," Jasper began. "She'll give you a run for your money."

"No I won't" I said. "He's magical."

"He won't get out of the room if you keep complimenting him. Unlike you, he lets the comments go to his head."

"I do not." Edward defended. "I'm just as humble as the next guy."

"If you say so." Jasper said in a baby voice. It was cute and I let a giggle escape me. Both looked at me and smiled. It was a little weird and I hated the attention I was getting. I wasn't used to it.

"I do," Edward said, in a caveman way. That was even cuter and I let out another giggle.

"She's laughed at us Edward. I wouldn't take that if I were you."

"No, I won't." Edward said as he made sat back on the stool. "She'll have to pay." He in a fake menacing voice.

Before I could respond, I felt Edwards hands sit on my hip. I jumped at the contact but his hands help me onto the stool. The next thing I knew his hands had gone up a little and he was tickling my sides. I began to laugh, as did Jasper and Edward. I began to squirm and squeak in my seat. I knew I must've sounded like a right moron but I couldn't bring myself to care. I was lost in the moment.

1) Edward was touching me.

2)He wasn't horrified at that fact.

3)His laugh was the most perfect sound I've heard.

My arms soon began to fly around, as everyone continued to laugh. The next thing I knew Edwards arms had left my side, Jasper began to laugh even harder and I heard a groan come form Edward. I looked over to him and saw him doubled over in pain. I glanced up at Jasper to question him on why he was still laughing.

"Jasper, why are you laughing?"

"I… think you… just… erm…" He gasped through his laughed. "I think that you have just taken away he ability to have children." Just to make me that little bit worse, Edward groaned as Jasper finished talking.

"Oh, Edward. I'm so sorry. Can I get you anything?"

"No," He gasped. "Just give me a minute."

"I'm so sorry," I repeated, looking over at Jasper with a death glare so that he would stop laughing. It wasn't funny. Edward was in pain, and that's not a laughing manner. Jasper just laughed harder. I frowned more and turned my gaze back to Edward.

"I'll be back. I'm going to check on dinner with Esme."

"Thanks for nothing," Edward half laughed, half gasped as Jasper left the room.

"Edward, are you sure you'll be okay. Are you sure there is nothing I can do for you?"

"Bella, I'm fine. Growing up with Emmett gave me enough prep for this. I can handle it. It's okay. Don't worry yourself. It's a guy thing and it happens all the time."

"But,. I really. I can't believe I did that. I'm so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am."

"Bella," He said, turning to me whilst he straightened up. "It's fine. Look," He said, standing. "All better.

Now we should follow Jasper because I'm sure I heard the front door go which means my dad is home."

"Are you sure you are okay?"

"I'm positive. Do you always worry so much?"

"Yes. I hurt myself all the time, but I normally avoid others so that I can't, well, do things like that to them."

"Avoid other people?"

"I don't have many friends. They were all kind of embarrassed by my obvious clumsiness. I really find it hard to walk in a straight line sometimes." I laughed. It was true which was the hilarious part about it. He gave a little laugh and then closed the piano. He began to walk to the door but paused in the doorway.

"I should probably give you a little heads up about my dad." He took a deep breath. "He can be a little forward at time. I think you may be a little embarrassed by what he says."

"A little forward?"

"He speaks his mind. He tells the truth. He's not mean. He's never horrible and he's a great man."

"Okay. I'll try to keep that in mind." With that, we walked out of the room, Edward closed the door and we made our way to the kitchen. I was once again amazed by the kitchen. I don't think it was possible to get over the beauty of just about everything that was in it. It was perfectly spotless and everything matched perfectly. It must take some serious time to acquire every thing that matches, and some serious money. I was a little intimidating to see people that obviously had so much money. Jasper, Emmett and Edward seemed down to earth enough, I just hoped everyone else would be because I really don't like it when people let money go to there head. I have never seen the appeal in having so much money. Sure, you can have everything you want, but isn't it a well known fact that money doesn't buy happiness? I have a rather simple outlook on life, and maybe it's naive of me but I think that a little challenge in life is great and that if everything is handed to you on a plate then you don't really appreciate what you have.

Esme entered the kitchen and took a look around. Even though there were things cooking, everything was perfectly under control. Esme looked perfectly relaxed. When my mom cooked, she used to have little freak out and rush around like a headless chicken, even when there was no need. It was refreshing to see the complete opposite.

"Edward, can you lay the table please? Jasper started but he got a call from his brother."

"Of course, Mom." Edward said, heading into the dining room. I quickly followed Edward into the dining room and saw the table that had been partly laid. It was beautiful and looked like something that belongs in a 20's era movie. It was elegant and perfect and just… wow and it was only half laid.

"This is beautiful."

"Really? You don't think it's a little old fashioned?"

"I like old fashioned. It beats two TV trays with Pizza on, that's for sure. Do you not like it?"

"I think it's amazing. Mom always told me I was born in the wrong time. I love all this stuff. She thinks I belong in 1901."

"That's specific. The date I mean?"

"Her great, great grandfather or something like that was born then. He was always thought of as the perfect gentleman. I'm named after him."

"That explains a lot."

"How?"

"I think you're the only person to hold a door open for me. My own father's not that much of a gentleman."

"I just think that's how a lady should be treated. I think the idiots that boys are today is awful. They're rude and who ever thought of the saying_ treat them mean, keep them keen _deserves a punch in the face."

"You're passionate about this, aren't you?"

"What gave it away?" He laughed. "I have some pretty strong opinions on something's. Sorry."

"It's nothing to apologise for. It's lovely to see."

"Most people think it's kind of weird."

"Well then they are the idiots you were speaking of before."

I laughed. I handed him a pile of cutlery that was next to where I stood and watched him gently place everything down in the proper place and with near perfect precision. He then walked over to a cabinet filled with plates. He took out six plates and set them down carefully at each setting that he made with the cutlery. Everything was in perfect line and everything matched perfectly. It was amazing how it was done with no arguments and no hassle. It was simple. It was a happy family and that was hard to come by. With a grace that I thought wasn't possible Edward finished setting everything out, including wine glasses. I hope we didn't have wine. I didn't handle alcohol well, I had tried it once at my mothers insistence and it wasn't that I disliked the taste, it was just that it went straight to my head and I felt tipsy after a few sips. It was awful and I couldn't understand why anyone would enjoy that sensation. I hated being in less control than normal. I hated not truly knowing my own mind.

Edward then went to the kitchen where Esme was just tasting something at the stove. She made a happy face and turned off the heat. It must be done.

"Edward, I don't want to interrupt Jasper but dinner is nearly ready, so could you go warn him."

"Sure, mom" And with that he walked off, and left me in the kitchen alone with Esme. I was suddenly panicking, I hadn't been left alone with her yet, this was not good. I couldn't interact with people well, what if I say something insanely stupid or make a complete fool of myself.

_Calm down Bella. _I thought to myself. _He'll be back in a second. He's gone to find Jasper and he'll be back and you won't be left alone with a guy's mother who you have known for all of two days. _I then began to think about the size of the house and how hard it might be to find Jasper and then I started panicking a little more. My breathing picked up and my heart started to race. This wasn't a good racing either, it was I think I need to go to the hospital racing.

"Bella, dear, I hope you like Alfredo Pasta?"

"I love it." I replied on instinct. It wasn't a lie I did like it.

"Brilliant. So, how do you like town?"

"It's good. I'm still getting to know the area. My aunt has the weekend off so she said something about going out."

"That would be nice. Who's you aunt?"

"Elizabeth. Elizabeth Swan."

"You're Elizabeth's niece. Oh, she's been talking about you coming out here ever since you told her.

She's been looking forward to it so much. You must be close?"

"Yeah. We are. I love her, she's the sensible sister."

I laughed and she joined in. This was no where near as awkward as I thought it would be. I slipped into conversation easily and we discussed how she knew Elizabeth. Apparently there was some kind of club that the two go to and they met and are quite good friends. After a few moments, Edward walked in with Jasper at his side. They both gave a smile and a small nod at the same time. It was funny how in sync they were. I let out a soft giggle as did Esme.

"I swear they should be brothers." Esme laughed as she poured the pasta into a serving dish.

"What?" They asked at the same time. That made me laugh a little harder. They really should be brothers. They looked enough alike to be brother and they seemed to have the same disposition.

"What's so funny?" Edward asked.

"You too. You're uncannily similar." Esme chipped in, before handing the serving bowl full of pasta to Jasper. She didn't have to ask him to do anything he just took the bowl and walked toward the dining room. There was no more chat after that. We all followed Jasper. I was a little confused as Carlisle wasn't here and after that there was another place setting to be filled. I then remember Emmett, and wondered where he was.

"Where's Emmett?" I asked Edward as he pulled out my chair for me.

"He's got football practice. He'll be a little late but he'll be here."

"And your father?"

"Good question." He said and turned to his mom. "Hey, Mom. Where's dad?"

"He's right here," A male voice answered from behind. He swiftly walked in and went over to Esme and gave her a kiss on the check. "Good evening dear." He said with a smile.

"Good evening," she replied with the biggest smile on her face. You could almost feel the love radiating off of them, it was lovely. Too see a couple still so in love after god knows how long together. I smiled softly and looked down, feeling like I was intruding on there moment.

"Dad, this is Bella. Bella this is my father Carlisle."

"It's nice to meet you sir," I whispered. _Sir? _Well, it was polite right?

"It's lovely to meet you too Bella. And we'll have none of that sir crap. It's Carlisle."

"Okay, Carlisle."

"So, lets eat. I'm starving." He announced, and he sat down in the seat next to Esme. Esme handed him the serving spoon and he began to pile pasta onto his plate. He then did the same for Esme and then past the spoon to Edward. Edward put some pasta on his plate and then did the same for me. It was a simple act but it made me feel strange. Good strange, but strange. No one had ever done that for me, not that I ever had someone in my life that should have done it or anything.

"Thank you," I said, quietly whilst blushing like mad. Edward handed the spoon to Jasper who piled a small amount of pasta on his plate. There was lots left over so I just assumed that they would save it for another day, or freeze it or whatever you do with left over pasta.

We ate in silence for a little while and then as the plates got to about half way empty the conversation started. "So, Bella, you're new in town?"

"Yes, I just moved here to live my aunt."

"Not with your parents. Where are they?"

"My father lives in Forks. He's the chief of police. My mom got re-married and moved away. I think she lives in Arizona. I'm not to sure."

"Not to sure? You're not close."

"No, I haven't really heard from here in the past couple of years. She sends e-mails every now and then

but that's about it."

"Oh, that's awful." Esme said.

"Not really. I've never really known her. She and my Dad split when I was young and I stayed with my

Dad so she could live the life of freedom she wanted."

"Still, that must be quite upsetting? Not having a mother figure?"

"My aunt filled that role. Even though I didn't see her much she was the best mother figure I could ask for. She's a lot like me so she understands everything I'm about."

"That's good. At least you have a female role model. So, you going to college next year?" and the questions continued for the rest of the meal. The only interruption was from Emmett when he came in and joined everyone. I said there was lot of food left, well I hadn't realised how much Emmett could pack away. I mean wow, how was he not 300 pounds by now. It was scary seeing him eat so much and with such ease. Edward laughed a little when my jaw dropped when Emmett got a third plate.

When Emmett finished, Carlisle gathered the plates and took them out to the kitchen. Esme followed her husband, declaring that she was going to get dessert. I couldn't eat much more so I hope it was small. I wasn't used to real food. Elizabeth and I were take away girls and quite proud of that. We both loved to cook, but it took so much effort and I would much rather grab a book and just wait for the food to be cooked for me. God, that makes me sound like such a snob. Like I have a personal chef or something. I don't I just think reading's important and I love having time to do it, and cooking bites into that time. Now I just sound like a geek. I can't deny that, I am. A big geek. I love school, I love to learn and I don't see the shame in that. I don't want to be one of those cheerleaders that don't eat and make themselves sick and say 'like' in front of everything. It was something I didn't find appealing at all.

"So, I'm sorry about all the questions." Edward said with a small smile.

"It's fine." I lied. I really hated being the centre of attention but I couldn't help that. I was the new kid at the table and they wanted to know me so that had to ask the questions because I was way to shy to offer the information up without them asking. It was at that point that Esme entered with a large bowl of trifle.

Now, I could make room for trifle. I loved it and it was the perfect dessert. No lie, I could have eaten the whole bowl. I would probably be ill tomorrow, but when it came to things like that I just didn't care. Trifle = good.

Carlisle and Esme sat down and Emmett entered the room once again. Carlisle placed a bit of the dessert into the bowls he brought in and handed them around to everyone. When it came to Emmett's turn he made sure to put an extra large piece into the bowl.

"You know me too well, Dad." Emmett laughed grabbing the bowl, and a spoon and digging in.

"Dad," Edward said, as Carlisle began to open his mouth. "No more questions. I'm sure Bella doesn't want to answer any more."

"That's how you get to know people Edward. Questions help you get to know the situation and that helps you assess what to do next."

"There is no situation to assess, she's not one of your patients."

"Well, I happen to think there is a situation."

"No. There. Is. Not" Edward said slowly. I was still processing what was said earlier. I was a situation. One that needed to be assessed none the less. That could be good, right? Situations normally imply something bad or not good if not bad.

"Edward, don't speak to you father like that." Esme scolded. "Bella, I'm sorry for this. There so similar, they tend to butt heads from time to time."

"That's fine" I said quietly, looking down at my dessert.

"Bella," Carlisle began. "Do my questions bother you?"

"Umm… I… It's just…" I stuttered, and everyone looked up at me. "I just don't like being the centre of attention." Everyone continued to look at me, and I felt my cheeks heat even more. I wasn't used to this. I couldn't deal with this. I started to panic a little but then Emmett spoke up.

"Come on, you heard the girl. No more interrogations and no more staring."

"You have such a way with words Em," Jasper laughed, and attention was diverted away from me. I looked up at Emmett and he looked back with a friendly smile. I mouthed a 'Thank You' and he just nodded in return and continued to eat his dessert.

The rest of the evening passed perfectly. No more questions and no more attention. After dessert, we stayed at the table and the Cullen's talked about their day. It was about eight when Edward asked if I would like to go home.

"I suppose so." I answered. "My curfew is ten, but my aunt doesn't know where I am."

"And you are in a\very dangerous situation."

"I know. I should have run away hours ago." I said, in my most serious tone.

"You have no chance now. It too late to save yourself."

"Oh no. Whatever will I do." I said, bursting out in to a fit of giggles.

"Come on," He said "I'll take you home." I collected by bag and said goodbye to everyone. Carlisle apologised for putting me on the spot for the tenth time that evening and I once again told him it was nothing to worry about.

Edward and I made our way out to his car, he opened my door and I got in. I pulled the seatbelt on whilst he got into the drivers side.

"So, I'm sorry about my dad." Edward said, once we were on the road.

"Is that a Cullen trait?" I asked

"What?" He asked confused.

"The need to apologise, too much."

"Sorry." He said, with a slight laugh. I laughed at him.

"Look, it's fine. I really didn't mind."

"But, he called you a situation. That's just… not right."

"You want me to be honest?" He nodded. "I was a little put off by it at first. I was a little worried but it's

really okay. That's his way of thinking. So, Edward, please, just drop it and trust me when I say it's okay."

"Okay," He said, with a slight nod. The rest of the ride was quiet, and Edward was a perfect gentleman when he pulled up to my aunt's house. He opened my door for me and walked me to the front door.

"I had a lovely night." I whispered as we face one another on the door step.

"Me too," He whispered back. He breath covered my face and I put my hand out against the door to steady myself. My heart did a strange flippy thing in my chest and my stomach tightened. My knees began to get a little weak and my palms got sweaty. I looked directly into his eye. I mean I really looked. I looked past the bronze hair and past the perfect looks. I looked past the emerald eyes and I saw him. I saw Edward Cullen. In that moment everything but nothing made sense. I felt like I finally was together but falling apart. In that moment, I realised I was screwed. I was happy and sad, scared and excited. Every emotion in my self had conflicting opposite emotion that hit just as hard. In that moment I realised one thing that would effect me for the rest of my life. In that moment I knew one thing for certain.

I was in love with Edward Cullen.

_Crap! _

**So, a shorter chapter, but I hope it's okay. Let me know what you think and I'm thinking of running a contest. I tried before but it failed epically. So the out line would be 5 prompts, cannon couples and any length of story and any rating. What do you think? Should I do it. Let me know. **

**Reviews are loved, they are like inspiration in one tiny e-mail.I'm not gonna get all ten or more before I update because I don't write for reviews but is the story that bad that it only get's 3 reviews?**

**Anyhow, let me know what you think, even if you think it sucks. I can make it better that way. **

**I make this an M story. I'm still a little unsure about it at the moment. I don't know if I can write that but I want to give it a shot so I might, I thought pre-warning might be a good thing. **

**Thanks for reading. **

**Sarah x**


	5. As Happy As I Can Be

_**Disclaimer - I don't own anything. **_

_**Can I get, like, 5 reviews? **_

_**I want to be a better writer and I want some feedback to help with that? **_

_*~*~*~*~*March 20__th__*~*~*~*~*_

I never believed in love at first sight. I mean, was this even that? We had seen each other a reasonable amount of time in the past few days but that was the first time that I really looked at him. I mean I looked past everything and just saw him.

_Crap! _This can't happen, it just can't. I can't be in love. It must be something else. I must be confused. Lust, I could handle lust. That would dissipate quickly and hurt far less.

I had no real experience with love, I don't know what it is to love someone. I can't. I've never had a boyfriend. I've never kissed a boy. I can't be in love. I just can't. The literature of the world must know something. Nearly every author had written of love and of lust and they all write it in such a way that makes it sound all encompassing and perfect. Sure, they wrote of pain and of heartbreak but it all seemed so trivial when you saw the couple back together or you saw a person find their soul mate. The greats wrote confusion and opposites in love, the contemporises follow suit. If that's what it's really like then I felt it. Everything is conflicting and I can't decide on what I should feel. Shakespeare writes of _brawling love, loving hate _and _mis-shapen chaos of well seeming forms. _Nothing could be more accurate right now.. I was a mess on the inside I loved but I hated myself. How could I let myself feel this? How can I feel this? It's been two days. You aren't meant to fall in love in two days. It takes time. It takes work. It takes a relationship. None of which I have.

I just… What… How… I'm so confused. After the realisation on the step I quickly put distance between us and said a hasty goodbye and got inside. I said a quick hello to Elizabeth but I didn't stay downstairs long. I said good night and went to my room. I closed the door, leant against it and slowly slid to the ground. I stayed there for a unknown amount of time. I placed my head in my hands and tried to figure out what the hell happened. It was one o' clock in the morning when I managed to pull myself off the floor. I didn't go far. I just moved to the bed and laid on top of the covers. Sleep evaded me all night. I may have had a few minutes here and there but nothing that could be considered rest. Everything was floating threw my mind at a million miles an hour.

_Love. Lust. Hate. Pain. Happy. Sad. Scared. Excited. Annoyed. Curious. Desire. Despair. Ecstasy. Guilt. Hope. Surprise. Wonder. Shame. Regret. _

_Most of all I was hysterical or just plain crazy. _

How can one person deal with all of that at once, at the age of seventeen? How? How? How? I received no answer even after asking the same question many times. I didn't expect it to be answered but I at least thought that something would come to mind. That maybe I'd wake up back in Forks before all this. Maybe, Edward would come and knock at my window and declare his undying love for me.

_*~*~*~*~*March 21__st __*~*~*~*~*_

The next morning I went downstairs at six o clock and looked in the fridge. I was thinking of making breakfast for Elizabeth. I was kind of short with her when I got home and I really needed a distraction from my thoughts. I couldn't let the same thing circle my mind any more. I needed to think of something else. Anything else.

I grabbed the eggs and the bacon and began to cook. It was escapism. This and reading was my way out of this world and into another. I leave in times of confusion and when everything seems messed up and leap into a world of simple and a world of method. Reading was not going to help. Nearly every book I had was a romance or spoke of undying love and that's… well… let's just say that I don't need to be reminded. Every time I even thought of something that could remotely lead to thoughts of Edward, relationships or love I felt my heart break a little. It was slowly falling apart and I couldn't fix it. I just needed to deal and move on. I needed to escape, so I cooked. I cooked eggs, bacon and sausages. I made a huge breakfast that I knew would go to waste and then I made a little more. I made a pancake mix and created a pile on a plate and poured syrup over them. I then pulled out a glass and poured in some orange juice. I grabbed a tray from behind the fridge and put everything on it. I walked up the stairs being as careful as humanly possible. It would be just my luck to fall right now. I made it up safely and put the tray down next to the door. I knocked quickly and waited for a sleepy 'come in' from Elizabeth.

"Hey," I said quietly. Picking up the tray and entering her room. "I made breakfast."

"Oh," she said, sounding a little more awake now. "What have we got?"

"You've got a choice. Pancakes or an English breakfast?

"You have been a busy girl. What's brought this on?"

"I couldn't sleep and I haven't had a real chance to thank you for letting me stay here."

"There is no need to thank me, dear. I love having you here. Since your uncle passed away I've been a lonely ol' girl. It's nice to have someone around to keep me young. Even if it is just at heart."

"You're not old, Liz."

"Oh, darling, I appreciate you saying that but nothing you say will make it untrue. Life's caught up with me. I'm glad you're here and that you're taking such great care of me." She said, looking at the tray. She pulled it up to her lap as she sat in bed and began to eat some of the pancakes.

"Bella, this is amazing."

"Thanks" I said with a blush. It's not just strangers. I mean she's my aunt,

why am I getting embarrassed? Elizabeth ate half the pancakes and half of the English breakfast. She offered me the rest but I couldn't stomach it. As much as I was distracted from all the hysterical thoughts, my stomach was still in knots. I still had to go to school and pretend that I was friends with him. I had to pretend that I was okay with just being friends, even though I have never been okay with just being friends.

I stayed with Elizabeth as she ate and we talked about non important things that continued to distract me. Our conversation ended quickly when she asked about school and the boy who I had mentioned briefly on the second morning before school. I just said the generic answer of _fine _and then made the excuse that I had to get ready for school. I quickly ran to my room and grabbed and pair of baggy jeans and sweatshirt. I just opted for comfort rather than anything that would flatter my figure. I grabbed my backpack and put in a notebook and text book for biology. _Great! Biology! Just what I need._

I grabbed my keys and made my way to my truck. It was a little early to get to school but if I didn't go I would slow down and I would start to think and then I would start to panic and then well… I'll be a mess.

I drove into a space in the school lot and grabbed my bag from the passenger seat. It was a little cold outside so I just grabbed my bio text book from my bag and began reading from page one. I had got to page 14 when I nearly had a heart attack at a knock on the window. I was lost in the words, even though they were meaning very little to me at that moment. They just swirled in my head and took my mind off other things. I looked out the window and found who I was expecting. Edward stood there is a nice fitting shirt and tight jeans. The world was officially against me. Why did he pick today to be completely and utterly desirable. I mean, why did he not wear that yesterday. I could have been happy in my world, lusting after him instead of in pain because I'm in love with him and can never do a thing about it.

_Just friends! Whose stupid idea was that? _

His! My inner self shouted.

_Well, it was a stupid idea. I never should have agreed._

Then he wouldn't be in your life at all.

_Maybe that would have been a good thing. _

You don't really believe that.

_Oh, don't I?_

No, you don't. He's your friend and he seems to enjoy your company

somewhat. Just settle for friendship and find love elsewhere.

_You make it sound so simple. I don't think it is. You only find true love once, what if this is my true love and I can't love anybody else?_

_Great! _I thought. _I'm talking to myself. I'm having a two way conversation in my head. I must be nuts. _I sighed and got out of the car. I shoved my book into my bag and plastered a smile on my face. It was somewhat genuine. I was happy to him. My heart rate picked up a little as we walked side by side, our arms just brushing each other every so often. I felt a shock go threw me at each touch and I thought it was impossible that he didn't feel it too. I snuck a glance at him and he was just walking along smiling and looking at the ground. He showed no signs of feeling the charged air around us or the electricity passing between our bodies when we touched.

"I drove to pick you up this morning," He said with a sad smile. "Why'd you leave so early?"

"Didn't realise it was so early." I lied. I was a terrible liar but he seemed to believe me or he let it drop at the very least.

"Hey Bella," Emmett said, nudging my side slightly. "You look like your

about to drown in that sweatshirt."

"Emmett, really. Be a little more subtle at least."

"Sorry, it's true though. And you know you love me because I'm okay with saying things straight."

"What ever gave the idea that I loved you?" Edward dead panned.

"Come on bro. With my perfect wit and mad ladies skills you know I can help you pull anyone you like."

That was the one thing I didn't need to hear.

I just walked by in silence ignoring the tugging on my heart. I moved away from Edward a little because if I had to touch him again and couldn't act on it, I was going to go absolutely mad. Not that I wasn't already there, you did witness the two way conversation with myself earlier.

"Hey, I'm gonna go to English. See you guys later." Emmett waved with a huge smile on his face and I couldn't help but smile in return. It was hard not to be at least a little happy around him. Edward stopped and then jogged over to me.

"I'll walk you to class Bella. See you at lunch Emmett"

"Bye," Emmett shouted. "Have fun." He laughed.

"Bella," Edward asked. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine." I lied again. I hated lying. I never had to lie. One, because I couldn't. Two, I have never had a reason to lie before.

"You're a terrible liar."

"I'm fine" I said again, trying to be a little more convincing.

"Okay, but when you're ready to talk about it, I'm here. I know we haven't known each other long but I feel this connection with you and I'm not gonna let that pass by. I want to be friends, like real friends. I want us to be able to confide in one another."

"Edward, really, it's nothing. I would like to be _real _friends too. We can talk, when there is a need to talk. Right now, there isn't."

"Okay." He nodded. He walked me to English in silence and he left me when

I entered the classroom. He met me at lunch and we walked into the lunch room together. I pulled myself together a little at lunch in an attempt to really convince Edward that I was okay. I didn't want to tell him about this. I couldn't tell him about this. It was okay and we all slipped into a easy conversation. We laughed and joked and I got to know Emmett and Jasper a little more. It was nice and I could really see myself as their friends. They had easy going, fun and laid back personalities. I had to admit as soon as Emmett stood up to leave before the rest of us, I was still a little intimidated. He really was huge and it was very strange to see him next to Edward. They were so different. And it wasn't like he got it from his dad or anything. Carlisle was Edward's size. All I can say is that he must work out… a lot.

Edward and I left the cafeteria after the bell rang and we walked to biology. We had biology both of the last two periods.

"So, was you're aunt okay about last night?"

"Yeah. She's glad I've got some friends already."

"Are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Are you glad you've got friends already?"

"Of course I am. I couldn't have asked for a better set actually. Jasper and Emmett are great. They're funny and easy going. It's refreshing from my inner monologue and over thinking of things."

"Oh, that's nice." He said, hurt evident in his face and his voice.

"Hey," I said, nudging him in the side a little. "You've got some good things going for you too."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Did you really think that I was leaving you out. Edward, as sad as this is going to sound, you're the best friend I've had since I agreed to share a crayon with some girl in kindergarten."

"Thank you."

He said with one of those crooked grins that made my knees go weak.

The next two months continued much the same. I managed to convince everyone that I was perfectly fine. There were odd times when something was said that I would feel the need to hug myself and try and convince myself that I was okay and that I could continue to hide my love. I think I fell in love with Edward a little more every time we talked. I mean, really talked. We got to know each other exceptionally well and I think I could tell you more about him that I could about myself. I also got very close with Jasper. When I wasn't with Edward, I was with Jaz. We were good in each other's company and we were like best friends. It was nice to have a friendship where you don't have to hide something. I still hid it from him, though I am sure that Jasper knows that I see Edward as a little more than my friend. He's kind of… well very perceptive about emotions and all of that stuff so I don't there was any point in trying as hard to hide it from him than there was when I was with Edward. Emmett soon became like a big brother. He would laugh, joke and mock everything and he just generally lightened the atmosphere around us. If I was having a particularly bad day, I would go and talk with him for a little while. We would talk about silly things that never mattered to anyone but he always cracked a joke and made me laugh and I always felt a little better after that.

I had dinner round the Cullen's once a week but I was around there more than that. I went after school and after eating dinner with my aunt. Elizabeth sometimes joined the Cullen's and I for dinner, which was almost always on a Monday. She and Esme would gossip and giggle about things that happened at a meeting they both went to. They were clearly good friends and it was nice to see Elizabeth laugh. I remember when my Uncle died, she had a lot of trouble getting on with life after that. It was nice to know she had someone when I wasn't here and now that I was it was nice that she had someone her own age. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm kind of naive on life. I'm only eighteen, I can't say I have truly lived yet. No eighteen year old could. You have to have age on your side to be able to say you have life experience and that was one thing that I didn't have.

I was looking for a job too. I was doing okay in class and my aunt said it was cool if I wanted to get a Saturday job. She thought I could handle school and work, as long as the hours were okay and I wasn't getting ripped off and only paid a silly amount of money. I hadn't had any luck yet, but I kept my eyes peeled and I made Edward and Jasper promise to keep a look out too. They got a little pouty when I said I was looking for a job, they thought I was trying to get away from them. I quickly explained that I was looking for a job so I could save up a little bit of money for college or to help out my aunt. I felt awful living there and having no contribution to food I ate and bills that I help accumulate. She had told me that she would refuse to take my money but I was as stubborn as she could be and I would give the some money to her somehow, even if I had to go grocery shopping before she could manage to get to the store.

I adjusted okay. I think I did at least. I didn't really make any more friends. I think they were all a little jealous of my friendship with the Cullen's. I got sideways glances and death glares. I could feel people watching at lunch. I would look up from our conversation and see heads turn quickly away so they I would think they weren't looking. There was this one girl that made a point not to look away though. She was a beautiful girl, even I had to admit that and I had seen her trying to flirt with Edward many times. He always just blew her off, but she was persistent. I think her name was Lauren. Her gaze never left mine when I looked up and she gave me a look that gave a whole new meaning to the phrase _if looks could kill. _She had made some snide comments in the corridors if I was talking with Jasper and Edward but I ignored them, as did Jasper and Edward. There were nasty and completely gross. I mean she said something, once about having them both at once. Now, I couldn't deny that they were both stunningly handsome, but…ewww! They were cousins. It was… not right.

All in all, the first two months living with aunt were good and I was okay with just good. It was better than complete boredom, and for that I was happy, well as happy as I could be.

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**Sarah x**


	6. Destory and Heartache

**Disclaimer - I own nothing. **

_*~*~*~*~*June 1st__*~*~*~*~*_

Life continued, as it was going for last two months. Today was no different. Edward came by in his Volvo and picked me up for school; it had been our routine for quite a while. I was quite willing to drive myself, but Edward insisted. He would sometimes be with Jazz but mostly the ride was just me and him. It was nice to have time alone, I mean completely alone. We spent time together, but there was always someone around, even if they didn't interrupt us.

I jumped into the car and said a quick hello. Edward pulled away with a brief look in my direction. He had a small smile on his face that reached his eyes. They shone, and he looked happy. I gave a small smile back and his grew a little. It didn't last long. His smile left his eyes and they filled with something a little darker, something sadder. That happened quite a few times, normally when were alone and in a quiet situation. Edward had a talent of communicating with his eyes. I would often just look at him and know what he wanted to say. He could quite easily shut that off, and he did that often to. It was in those fleeting moments that he let me see him, that he brought down his walls that my heart broke in two. I wished that he felt I was good enough to bring his walls down all the time, but I wasn't. I would never be. Why would I be? I was his friend and I knew things about him that friends should know. In the moments that he let everything go, I knew him, I knew more than a friend should. I felt a connection that went far beyond friendship and I think that he shut himself off because he didn't want that connection. He wanted a friend and I was happy to that for him. It kept me in his life.

I had managed to control my thoughts but I would often pine for a life with him. I mostly fought them all because it was too painful to know that it wouldn't happen. I would see a glimpse of what the future may be like and it would warm my entire body. We would interact in ways that needed no words. We would be able to show each other what we meant to one an other with a simple look, or a simple brush of finger. We would share silent conversations that left us more connected than ever and it would be a relationship built with such intensity that it was overwhelming and all consuming. That was what I saw, that was what I wanted, but that was irrelevant. He didn't want it, and that was what was important . I would do anything for him, anything to make him happy. If that meant me being a friend, ignoring the _connection, _then I would.

The day went on as normal we went to class, enjoyed lunch with Emmett and Jasper, who were also my best friends. Jasper especially, he seemed to understand me a lot, he was very empathetic and sympathetic. After lunch Edward and I began to make our way to biology where we had our last two lessons of the day. As we walked we made mindless chit chat and laughed. We were just about turn the corner to walk into the classroom when I heard the voice I wanted to hear least of all. I hated the voice, and everything that comes along with it. The plastic body, the platinum blonde dye job and clothes that would be too small for a seven year old. She was, how do you say, _loose. _She got her popularity that way, giving it up to anyone who wanted it. And when you are seventeen you always want it. Jessica was her name and she was put on this earth and in this school to make my life hell. She was worse than Lauren and her crude comments.

"So, Swan, off to the closet for a quickie? Oh wait, you haven't got Blondie, will it still be as much fun?"

Her voice said, as I tired my hardest not to turn and respond. It wasn't so much that she was insulting me, but she was insulting Jasper and Edward and I had become very protective of them. They are such good people and they deserve for people, every person, to see that. Edward tensed besides me, but he also just ignored her. He just kept walking and I followed him.

"Hey!" She shouted. "How dare you ignore me?"

_How dare I? _Did that seriously just come out of her mouth.

"How dare she? How dare you?"

Edward said, before something witty or just a horrid could come out of my mouth.

"You have no right to pass judgment Jessica. Take a look in the mirror before you say anything about _quickies. _I think you'll find the living embodiment of a quickie."

"Ohhh," She said in false drama. "Cullen's getting defensive over his little girlfriend. Tell me? Do you get jealous when your cousins getting on it."

"It? How can you say that? I think if anyone's _it _it's you. I mean, do you have any idea what people think of you? I mean, what they really think of you?"

"People love me," She defended.

"No," I said, finding my voice. "Teenage boys love the idea of you. The quick lay."

"Stop lying. You just want to pass your sluttish reputation on to me. Sure, I like sex but I'm normal. I'm not in to the whole incest scene. For me, it's one at a time."

"Jessica. I have a suggestion for you." Edward began. "Walk away before it gets a whole lot worse. And FYI, she is not a quickie."

"See, Swan, no one will claim you." She said, sneering at me.

"Claim her? Why would anyone claim her?"

It was at that point that I stopped listening. Not out of choice but all I could hear in my ears was the pounding of my heart. Was I that disgusting? Did he really think that? How could we be friends when he held views like that of me? It was then that I felt everything I had fought for the past two months. I felt every twinge of rejection escalate into full blown rips in my heart. I felt everything that told me he would never love me, never need me like I had come to need him hit me like a tonne of bricks. It quite literally knocked the breathe of me. Maybe fighting all the conflicting emotions over time was a silly idea, I could handle them in small bouts but this was silly and it hurt like nothing else. I didn't think heartbreak would cause physical pain, I always thought it was emotionally but the strength of emotion made it physically painful. He would never see me that way. He never want me. I'd never have him.

I felt the tears well up in my eyes and I knew that I had to get out of the building, or at least away from him. I wouldn't give them, him or her, the pleasure of seeing what they could do to me. They wouldn't see me cry. I wouldn't let them.

I turned back the way that I'd been heading, and I began to walk away from them. I didn't know if he was following me, frankly at this point I didn't care. At least I was trying to convince myself that I didn't care. I walked straight past the entrance to my biology class and straight out the front gates. I couldn't handle the class, I couldn't handle anything right now other than getting out of the school and home so I could let go.

I reached the parking lot and it was then that I knew I was stuck. I had ridden to school with Edward and Jasper had ridden with us. Emmett was the only other option and he had football practice until five. I couldn't catch a ride with anyone. One because it wasn't time for people to leave yet and two those three guys were the only real friends that I had. I could walk, I suppose, but that would take me at least two hours. I was stranded and I had no idea what I was going to do. I was gasping for air at this point and the tears were freely falling down my face. I just wanted to leave and I had no way of doing it. I leant against the building and slid down. I pulled my legs up to my chest and tried to literally hold myself together. I felt like everything was falling apart, myself included. Everything was going the way that I had tried my hardest to avoid. It was only ever really going to end this way, but I had fooled myself into thinking that it wouldn't. That this whole thing wouldn't end and that we would be okay. I let him in, I loved him, I love him and he does this. He breaks me. He doesn't even known that I have so much to give him. He doesn't know that I will love him so much and I can make me feel loved and cared for. He'll never know and I think that was one of the most hurtful things of all.

I was sobbing loudly after a few minutes and I knew I had to calm down before I passed out for lack of oxygen. I tried to divert my thoughts of him and anything that reminded me of him. The only problem was that he had become such a huge part of my life, consumed so many of my thoughts had been consumed by him that everything I tried to think of to calm down was about him or something we had done together. I had no idea how long I was sitting there, trying the calm myself. It worked a little but I was still sobbing and gasping for breath.

"Hey," I heard a voice say. I knew the voice and I didn't need to look up from my lap to know that Emmett was standing close by.

"Bella, what's the matter?" He said in a hurry, and the worry was evident in his voice. We'd become close with each other and I know it must have been a shock for him to see me in such a state.

"I…" I gasped, trying to get words out. "Am… He… Jess… disgusting?"

"Bella, you need to calm down." He said, crouching down to my level on the ground and placing a hand on my shoulder. Emmett was a very physical person and it was nice to have a friend that could calm you with a touch. With Edward, his touch calmed me but then it also sent my heart into a race with itself. He would send a flow of electricity through my body that made me excited in other ways. Sure, the panic would leave but something else entirely would overtake my body and that was not always appropriate. You've heard the saying there is a time and a place, well it's true and there is and in school or in the town centre is not the time nor the place to get your self a little too overexcited.

"Take a deep breath. Please."

I tried to take a deep breath. I knew that I was scaring Emmett and he would only worry until I calmed down. I managed to calm myself a little. I was still crying but I could at least without worry of passing out.

"Okay, can you explain what happened?" Emmet said slowly. He was now sitting on the ground next to me and I could tell that he was looking at me. I lifted my head to meet his gaze and held it for a little while. I nodded after a while and took one final deep breath.

"He think's that I'm disgusting." I said in the calmest voice that I could find. There was still a hint of hysteria but it was far less than before. I had managed to divert my thoughts away from him (Edward) to calm myself down but I could now feel them enter my mind and I felt the upset that I had warned off a little come back I began to gasp for air again.

"What? Who?"

"Edward," I gasped.

"Bella, calm down." Emmett urged. "What ever gave you the idea that Edward thinks that you are disgusting?"

"He… said… it"

"Bells, Edward would never even think that, let alone let you know that he thinks that. You are is his best friend. He loves you."

I felt my heart skip a beat at the last three words. I knew that it wasn't true but it still had an effect on me.

"No, he doesn't." I said in a firm voice.

"Yes he does." Emmet said in an even firmer voice. I didn't want to deal with this right now. I just wanted to get out of the school before everyone got out of class.

"Emmett, do you have a class right now?"

"No." He answered.

"Can you give me a ride home?"

"Of course." He said. I looked at him again and gave him a very weak smile. He smiled back and that made me smile a little more. He was so happy and it kind of emulated from him and you couldn't help but feel it a little, even in my sorry state.

"C'mon," He said, offering his hand. I took it and he pulled us both up. We made our way over to Emmett's jeep and I got in. I placed my bag on my lap and began to dig around for my phone. I wanted to call Elizabeth and tell her that I was on my way home. I wasn't sure what this school would do if they found out that I had skipped. I had been kind of a model student since I started, only really skipping on my first day with Edward.

I finally found it but it died as soon as I began to type in the number. I angrily threw it in my bag and dumped the bag on the floor of the car. The sadness was now turning to anger and I wanted to lash out at someone but I thought it would be best to save it until I got home and could scream into a pillow or punch a wall.

Emmett got into the drivers seat and started the car. When we didn't move, I looked over at him to see what we were doing.

"I know this is probably going to upset you again, but, can you tell me what he did? How do you think he called you disgusting?"

"I don't think." I snapped. "I know." I said

"Okay," He said, holding his hands up in a way that said he surrendered. "How do you know he thinks that you are disgusting."

"I just do." I said, raising my voice a little. I immediately felt stupid for that and sorry that I had yelled at Emmett. He'd done nothing wrong, he was just the only person I could take out my anger on right now. "I'm sorry. Can you just take me home?"

"Sure." He said, turning in his seat so that he could drive. He pulled out of the space and drove me home. The ride was awkward and silent. Emmet pulled up outside my house and gave me a smile.

"Thanks," I said, getting out of the car. I was about to close the door when

Emmett began to speak.

"I know you'll get mad at this, but I'll take it. Do you want me to get Edward to call you?"

"No, make sure he doesn't" He just nodded to that.

"And what about Jasper?"

"Just don't tell him that anything is wrong. If he finds out, just tell him to leave me alone for a bit." I said, a tear sliding down my face. I really wanted to see Jasper right now but he was so much like Edward that I knew I would go into some kind of emotional frenzy when I saw him. I'd cry and hit out, as I already had with Emmett and I couldn't do that to anyone else.

_Maybe I could hit Edward._ I thought quickly, before pushing the though away. I'd probably, no I'd most defiantly enjoy kicking him in the nads but I wouldn't do that. I'd just shut him out, that was better.

"Okay, I'll see you Bells. Call if you need anything. And I mean anything. Ice cream at 3am. I'm there." He said with a chuckle.

"Thanks Em" I said and closed the door. I walked up to the front door and let myself in. Now, I needed to tell Elizabeth something. I opened the door and hooked up my bag on the hook. I made my way into the house, heading towards the living room.

"Bella?" Elizabeth called out. "Is that you?"

"Yes," I said weakly. My voice sounded gravely and it was obvious that something wasn't right.

"Are you okay sweetie?"

"Not really." I said honestly. "I'm feeling sick." I lied. At least it was partly true.

"Oh, darling. Do you need anything?"

"No, thanks. I'm just going to lie down for a bit."

"Are you sure?" she said getting up from her seat on the couch. I didn't want her to see me as she would know that it was more than being sick, so I quickly said I was going up stairs and made my way up them. I went straight into my room and locked the door. I slumped onto my bed and hid my face in the pillows. I let it all out then. I screamed until no more noise was coming out. It was muffled by the pillow and I hoped it was muffled enough for Elizabeth not to hear. The tears started again and when I got up of the bed, the pillow was soaked. I went over to the mirror and looked at myself. I was a mess. My hair was sticking out in every direction and the little mascara that I had put on this morning was all around my eyes. I looked awful and I hated Edward for making me look like this. I had promised that I wouldn't let this happen. I promised myself that I could do this. That I could handle this situation but apparently not.

_I wouldn't be here, if I could! _I thought angrily. I was mad at myself now and I hated myself. I looked in the mirror again and I just acted on impulse. I didn't even know what I was doing until I heard it break and I heard a cry escape my mouth. It was a surreal moment because I felt like I was watching myself. Even though I had cried out, obviously from the pain if punching a mirror, I couldn't really feel it. I just continued to watch myself from the strange plane that I was on.

After a while of holding my hand, I heard a knock at the door and I heard Elizabeth's worried voice carry through the door.

"Bella, what was that? Are you okay?" I couldn't answer. I couldn't get the words out. Tears streamed out of my eyes and I looked up at the broken mirror. I could still make out the image of myself so I curled my hand into another fist, fighting the pain and punched it again. No cries left my mouth this time though and I just continued to punch the glass. I was now gasping for air through the anger and tears that escaped me.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I swear to God that if you don't answer me in the next two seconds I'll find away to get in there."

I just went over to the door and sunk down against it. I couldn't let her see me like this. I just couldn't. I had hit out distraught and I didn't want to scare Elizabeth anymore than I already had. I heard Elizabeth walk away from the door and go down stairs. I just stayed in the same place waiting for the tears to dry out. About five minutes later, I heard Elizabeth come up the stairs again and this time she was followed by another set of feet, heavier than hers. A man, I would say.

I heard someone lean against the door then and they slid down it, in the way that I had.

"Bella?" A soft voice asked through the door. "Bella, it's Jasper. Are you okay?" I didn't answer.

"Bella, I know you can hear me. I need to know that you are okay. We're going mad with worry out here."

"I'm fine." I lied, looking down at my hand. Blood was pouring out of my knuckles and it was already bruised and swollen.

"Well, can you come out so that we can see for ourselves. Elizabeth said that she heard glass breaking."

"I'm fine." I lied again. Not only did I not want Elizabeth to see me like this, but I didn't want Jasper to see me either.

"Can I come in, if you won't come out?"

"No."

"Please." He begged.

"No," I said again.

"Bella," He sighed. "I'm going to get Edward." He said and I heard him move away from the door.

"No," I screeched, scrambling to my feet. "Don't. I'll open the door."

"Thank you." I clicked the lock out of place so that the door was open and turned to look out of the window. I heard to door open and then I heard my aunt gasp. Jasper walked in and came up behind me.

"Oh my god Bella. What have you done?" I didn't answer. I figured it was a rhetorical question. I think it was pretty obvious what I had done.

"We have to get you to the hospital. You must have broken you hand doing that."

"I can't go to the hospital." I said, knowing how embarrassing it would be.

Everyone would know what I had done. I would get the reputation as some kind of self harming freak.

"Why?"

"Everyone will know."

"Well, can I at least take you to see Uncle Carlisle. He can set it for you. Make sure that it's okay and that it heals right."

"He can't know." I said referring to Edward. I couldn't let him know that he had the power over me to make me do something like this. The adrenaline was wearing off now and I could feel the pain set in. It wasn't just my hand that was hurting. I was aching every where. My eyes were stinging and my head was pounding. My chest had aching and my whole body felt weak. I knew I needed to see someone but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

"Why?"

"He think's I'm disgusting. He can't know he can do this too me."

"Who are you talking about?"

"Edward."

"He doesn't think that you are disgusting."

"He hates me." I sobbed.

"He could never hate you. Nobody could ever hate you."

"He does." Jasper came closer now and I turned a around a little so that I could see him. His face screamed worry and I felt guilty for worrying him. I realised that I was being selfish in having this little outburst. I had scared the living bejesus of the people who care about me. I had broken my hand and I had done some serious damage to the wall where the mirror once hung. The tears flowed down my face now and I then buried my face into his shoulder. He put his arms around me and pulled me closer. He hugged me close and slowly whispered "let it out" to me over and over. I put my arms around him, fought against the pain in my hand a squeezed him as hard as I could. I knew that I didn't really have the strength to squeeze him hard enough to hurt him so I knew he was okay.

"I'm such a mess," I sobbed. "I'm so sorry."

"Hey, hey." He said, pulling me back a little so that he could see my face. "Don't apologise."

"But I'm so sorry." I then turned to Elizabeth who had tears running down her face and said sorry to her.

"Bella, don't apologise. Just let me and Jasper take you to the emergency room."

"Can we go see Carlisle?"

"Of course." Jasper said.

"I just have one condition."

"Okay." he said hesitantly.

"You have to get Edward to leave."

"Right," he nodded, sounding confused. "Will you explain what has happened?"

"I don't think I can." I said, shaking my head from side to side, panicking.

"Okay, just calm down. I'll call Edward and ask him to leave. Then we'll get this sorted."

With that Jasper grabbed his phoned and sent a text to someone, I assumed he was sending it to Edward and he lead Elizabeth and I to the car. Elizabeth and I climbed in the back. She got in last and immediately pulled me into her arms.

"I'm sorry." I said again. She just cried a little harder and squeezed me.

"I'll explain another time." I vowed. I would understand this more later, I had to because right now it made no sense and I wasn't okay with that.

Jasper climbed into the driver's seat and started the car. He drove in silence and the only noise that filled the car was Elizabeth's sniffing and my gentle sobbing. It seemed such a long drive to the Cullen house. It seemed so close normally but now it seemed a million miles away. We eventually pulled in the drive way and Jasper cut off the engine. He got out and came round to open a back seat door for me and Elizabeth to climb out. I shuffled and got out after Elizabeth and I looked around. I didn't see the Volvo so Edward must have gone like Jasper had ordered. I began to make my way towards the house when I heard a voice come from behind me.

"Bella."

**So this is my poor attempt at a cliff hanger. It's an obvious cliff hanger but hey, everyone has to start somewhere. **

**So, I figured I'd give some fic advice. I've just finished reading this amazing fic called Waiting For Dr Right. So good. Check it out. It rated M, so it's for the older people but it's really good. **

**Let me know what you think? Please? **


	7. Finally

**Disclaimer – I don't own. **

**Thanks to my Beta, she helped make this better.**

**Enjoy. **

"Bella," The voice said behind me. It was in a low whisper and somewhat strangled.

"No," I sobbed quietly. "No, you can't be here."

"Bella," the voice repeated. "Please." It begged.

"No, no." I said over and over again.

"I told you to go." Jasper said in a very tense and angry voice. "She doesn't want to see you."

"She has to. I have to explain."

His voice was so full of pain that I had to fight to raise my eyes to meet his. I knew that when I did meet his eyes, I would feel the need to forgive him. He had that kind of effect on me. He'd been such a big part of my life, well, let's face it, he'd been the centre of my universe for the past two months. I was protective of him, as strange as that may sound. I wanted him to be happy. I needed him to be happy so when he was sad I felt an uncontrollable need to change that.

Right now, I was mad. I had a right to be mad and I wanted to stay mad. One look in his eyes and I knew that the feelings I had right now would dissipate.

"No," I sobbed, burying my face in Jasper's shoulder. It was partly to try and calm down and partly to get my eyes away from Edward or the need to look at Edward.

"Look," Elizabeth spoke up, her voice shaky. "I don't know what you have done to leave my niece in this state. Hell, I don't even know if it was you. But, something has made her hysterical enough to want to hurt herself. Right now, my mind is racing with thoughts that include blaming myself and the thought that she's been here for two months and I have managed to screw up enough to make her like this. So, please just do as Jasper asks and talk to her after I have found out that she'll be okay."

"I'm sorry." He said one more time and then turned to walk away.

As soon as he disappeared my sobs became louder and my body shook more. I felt so guiltier now. I was being selfish before. This, this entire thing was done for me. It got me attention. It was to make me feel better. It was all done out of selfishness. I never once thought about what Elizabeth would be going through. What I would do to Jasper. These people cared about me and all I did was terrify and worry them.

"It... wasn't... you" I sobbed into Jasper's chest.

I hope Elizabeth knew I was talking to her. I hope she knew that she has nothing to do with this. Once I had calmed down I would talk to her, explain and let her know that she never screwed up. She's been perfect the two months that I have been here and I couldn't ask for a better role model and care taker. She treated me as an equal and that's all I wanted.

She was never overbearing but she let her rules be known and I was one to follow them; I respected her enough to do that. She wasn't one to express her emotions but she was open enough for my liking and we knew what we needed to know about one another and what we felt towards each other.

"Let's get you to Carlisle." She said, as Jasper placed a hand on the base of my back and led me into the house. He locked the door behind him and led Liz and I up the stairs. He knocked on the door of Carlisle's study and waited until he heard the voice say "Come in".

He opened the door slowly and walked in first. I followed and then Elizabeth followed me.

"Jasper why..." He trailed off as his eyes settled on my hand that I was cradling in front of my body.

He stared a little while before he got his words back.

"Bella, what happened?" He asked in a shocked voice. I was clumsy and he's checked me over before for a sprained wrist and what not but he's never seen anything like this. But then again, this was nothing to do with that fact that I was clumsy. I was just plain stupid at this point. Stupid. Selfish. Can anyone else think of anything else to say?

"I...punched...something" I said, taking a deep and hopefully calming breath in between each word.

I didn't want to get hysterical in front of Carlisle. He was probably worried about my sanity already.

"Why didn't you go to the hospital?" He asked, glancing at Jasper.

"I can't go there. Can you sort it out for me here?"

"Of course I can." He said with a slight nod. He motioned for me to sit down and I was quite shocked that he was taking this in his stride so much. He seemed so at ease with it and not at all worried. He was in doctor mode I suppose but I wish I could turn off like that. It would be so fun.

"This is defiantly broken. Now, I can put it in a splint or a cast. What do you want?"

"What's easiest?" I asked.

"A splint. You'll have to be extra careful. It doesn't have as much support but it'll heal if you are careful and take care of it the way I tell you to."

"Okay." I nodded, wincing as I clenched my hand a little.

"Bella, I hope you don't mind me asking this, but how did this happen?"

"I... I... I mean.. I couldn't..."

The tears began again. I couldn't actually believe I still had tears to cry, I'd cried so much already today.

"Calm down," he said, in that soothing doctor voice that all doctors seem to be able to muster up when they need to, "Just take a deep breath. I'm going to go and get a splint for your wrist." and with that he walked out of the room.

"Bella, Edward won't leave. Will you see him?" Jasper asked, sounding hesitant to say Edward's name.

"I will," I said, after about a minutes thought. I would have to face him sometime, better get it over with, "But I have to talk to Elizabeth first."

"Shall I send her in?" I nodded.

"Would you mind giving us a little time?" With that he nodded and walked out of the room. I heard the muffled tones of him and Elizabeth talking and then the door creaked open again.

"Hi," I said in a soft tone.

"Hi,"

"I'm so sorry." As I spoke I looked down at my hands. "I've been so selfish, I just had all this... all this..."

I shrugged, not knowing what I felt. Was it anger? Heartache? Sadness?

"Why would you hurt yourself?"

"I just, everything built up and I couldn't take it anymore. I had to let it out."

"Who caused that? How do you let it build up so much that you break your hand?"

"He's him and he was with her and its too hard. I can't do it."

"He is being Edward." I nodded sadly.

"Bella, you can't let a guy do this to you." She said matter of factly, "They are not worth it."

"What if they are?" I asked, thinking that he might just be worth it. He's such a good guy and he knows how to treat a girl and he's... well he's Edward.

"You really think he is?" I shrugged. I don't know, I was so confused and my head was spinning.

"Have a think about that Bella." The woman had impeccable timing, because as soon as she finished, the door opened and Carlisle walked in with what he needed to fix up my hand.

"Can you talk about it now?" Carlisle said, after inspecting my hand once more and fiddling with what he brought back with him.

"Everything just got too much." I said honestly.

"What exactly is everything?" He asked, though his look told me that he didn't need to ask. I think he knew a little more than he was letting on.

"I don't know."

"You are a terrible liar, Isabella."

He chuckled. He sounded exactly like Edward when he said that, and I smiled at the memory of the many times that Edward had said exactly that to me.

"Don't make me say it." I begged, the smile disappearing.

"You need to admit it." He said, wrapping something around my wrist. "He knows, even though you haven't said anything. That's why he hasn't said anything."

"What does he know?" I said panicked. He couldn't know too much, could he? I mean, I hid it well right?

"Bella, you don't hide things as well as you think. I think the only people that remain oblivious are you and Edward. Subconsciously you both know what's going on; you both know it's more than best friends or whatever you label it as."

"Has he said anything?"

"No, but he never would. He's too much of a gentleman to share details of your complicated relationship."

"You really think so?"

"I know so. He's my son. I raised him to be the kind of man he is."

"I don't... I'm not...really?" I asked in disbelief. He just smirked and nodded. I was left in disbelief and even more confused than I was before. Could he really feel more than friendship towards me?

"There we go," Carlisle said, as he took his hands away from my wrist.

"Take a couple of these now and before you go to sleep. It'll keep the pain away. You can have these for today and tomorrow and then just over the counter painkillers should be all right. If you experience any over the top pain, come back and talk to me."

"Thank you," I whispered, suddenly shy, I looked down at my hands as he whispered a "you're welcome."

Carlisle walked over to the sink and filled a glass with water. He handed it to me and I took the two tablets. I had kind of a low tolerance to pain killers; I hope they weren't too strong.

"I'll send him in." He said, as he walked towards the door.

I had no idea which he, he meant. Jasper brought me here and I'm sure was worried sick. I had to apologise to him as well, because I must have terrified him. Would he send in Edward? I would find out soon, I guess. The medicine worked quickly and I could feel the pain in my hand begin to dissipate. It must be quite strong so I guess I might be feeling a buzz soon.

"Hello," the velvet voice whispered. He sent Edward. Brave man.

"Hi," I said, dismissively.

"Are you okay?" he asked his voice low and worried.

"Why do you care?"

"What do you mean? Why do I care? I care a hell of a lot." He snapped.

"Wouldn't you rather be off with Jessica?"

"Why on Earth would I want to be _off with Jessica? _I can feel the bile rise in the throat from the mere thought of her."

"Why were you so quick to make sure she knew that you weren't sleeping with me?"

"Because I'm not." He said simply, as if that made it all better. He must have seen something in my face that made him want to continue, or need to continue. "I won't have you thought of like that."

"Have me thought of like what?"

"Like some quick shag. Your name shouldn't even be mentioned in the same sentence as the things that came out of that vile thing."

I knew what my next question needed to be, but I wasn't sure how to do that. What do I say? How do I word it?

"Why...Why'd you seem so horrified at the idea of..." I trailed off, hoping he would get what I was clearly talking about.

"What?" He shouted, making me jump at the volume. He apologised immediately and continued.

"Bella, whatever gave you the idea that I was horrified at that thought?"

"You were so quick to deny it and your face, it looked so... disgusted."

As I finished, I felt my eyes prickle with tears I fought so much to hold it back but one rebellious tear fell. I dipped my head and stared at my hands, embarrassed that I was in this state in front of him. I saw his feet move forward and he stopped in front of me. He bent down so he was kneeling in front of me. He lifted his hand so that he could brush a strand of hair behind me ear. His fingers fell under my chin and he pushed up until our eyes met. His thumb brushed across my cheek, wiping away the stray tear, only for another to fall in front of me.

"Isabella, have I ever hidden the fact that I think you're beautiful?"

I shake my head. No, he hadn't, that much was true but the way he said it always made me think that he was being his usual flirty self.

"Shall I list some of the things that I was always a little more hesitant to say to you?" He didn't wait for my answer, he just began again.

"I think that you are the most stunning, funny, intelligent, witty and sweetest woman I have ever met. You have some kind of aura around you that pulls me in. I can get lost in your eyes and I have to fight the urge to run my fingers through your hair every time that I'm in the same room as you. You are not afraid to be who you want to be and you put me in my place when I'm being as ass," he chuckled at this point. "You bring out a better and new side to me. Every single inch of you, mind, body and soul calls to me."

"At school, I needed to find you. I had to. I was frantic with worry. I went to walk out, but Mr Banner caught me and forced me into the classroom. By the end of the class I was so ready to do whatever I could to get out. Luckily, the bells went and I could escape but I couldn't find you anywhere. I stormed home to find Emmett who tore into me something rotten. He screamed at me for being such an idiot and then wouldn't tell me why. I went to leave, to go to Elizabeth but Emmett stopped me. That was when I guessed that he had seen you. He wouldn't say anything and I began to panic more. I needed to find you and explain. You only heard half of what I said and I heard it how you heard it. Then Jasper stormed out, and I think I just about had a heart attack. Then I got his text and I think I blacked out a little. Then I saw you, all hurt and I don't know..." He stopped.

"I... I can't... I don't understand."

"For someone whose intelligent you can be incredibly dense." He chuckled darkly. I still must have had a blank look on my face. "Maybe this will help clear things up a little?"

His fingers moved from my chin and his entire hand came to settle on my cheek. He then leant in and I knew what he was going to do. He leant in a little more and I moved the rest of the way. His lips gently brushed over mine and they gently touch two or three times before he went to pull away. He didn't get too far before my good hand snaked into his hair and pulled his head back towards me. If he was going to kiss me then dammit I was going to make it a good kiss. I pulled his lips onto mine and made sure they stayed in place. His hands found their way up to my hair as he pulled me in as close as he could. We eventually pulled away, both gasping for breath. He had a huge grin on his face and I'm sure mine matched.

"Clear now?" He laughed.

"Not even a little bit." I said with a giggle. I was still completely unsure about what was going on, but with that kiss I couldn't care right now.

"I want to be with you." He stated, stroking my cheek again. I giggled a little and leaned into his hand. It felt nice to finally do some of the things that I've wanted to do every day for the past two months.

"I want to be with you too." I said with another giggle. I then leant in and pulled his face to mine. This kiss was brief but still had the same effect on me as the other one. The last one had sent my body into a huge frenzy. My heart threatened to beat right out of my chest, and I felt everything that I felt for him intensify about 2,000,000%. It was bizarre, but could be nothing more than perfect. This kiss did exactly the same. I finally got what I wanted for the last two months and if I react each time the way I had to those two kisses then it's going to get so much better and so much more intense, in the best way.

"Why'd you hurt yourself?" He asked as his hand ghosted over my broken hand.

"I couldn't handle it anymore."

"Handle what?"

"The lying"

"What were you lying about?"

"My feelings for you." I said, not lying any more. I'm going to be honest from here on out.

"And, how exactly do you feel about me?" He asked with a blush. It was finally someone else's turn to blush instead of mine. I giggled and looked right at him.

"Very strongly." I said, not really wanting to scare him off with declaration of "I love you" etc.

"That goes for me too." He said with a cocky smirk playing on his lips. "Can I kiss you again?" He asked in a whisper that gave him a little more sexiness.

"You don't have to ask," I said, leaning in a little. "Ever." I said, placing my lips firmly on his.

Our hands intertwined in each other's hair as we held each other as close as possible in this position. The next thing I knew his hands pulled me up so that I was standing. Then he pulled my body closer to his and his hands rested on my hips. The kiss became a little heavier than the others and our bodies moulded to each other's quickly. I gave no thought to the people who were outside, and the kiss was broken when I heard a male gasp come from the doorway. We stepped apart and both look down like we'd been caught by our parents. It was only Jasper, but he had a look of shock on his face. It quickly changed and he had the Cullen smirk on his face.

"So, you finally figured it out then?" He said with a chuckle.

I giggled a little and then I heard Edward chuckle. I then felt an arm sneak around my waist and he tugged me closer to him. I looked up at him as he turned to look down at me and we held each other's eyes for a while. Jasper cleared his throat and Edward and I blushed with embarrassment.

We both muttered a sorry and turned to Jasper.

"I just came to see if Bella was going to mess up her other hand by punching you in your idiot face but now that's never going to happen." He said, smiling the entire time.

"Never," I said.

"Damn," He laughed. "Now who'll put him in his place?"

"Oh, no worries. I'll still make sure he knows where he is meant to be and how he should act."

"Well I'll be next to you and I'm yours to boss around to you heart's content." Edward added, squeezing my waist a little.

"Well, I'll let you two get back to..." he said, making a gesture with his hand.

"No," I said.

"We'll come out." Edward said and we followed Jasper out of the room.

Elizabeth was standing there, talking to Carlisle. They both stopped and turned towards me and Edward who still had me in his arms. Carlisle gave a little chuckle and Elizabeth smiled a little, but I could tell the anger from earlier was still present.

"Finally," Carlisle said. "I've seen you two dance around each other for the past two months. I think the only people who remained oblivious were you two."

"Well, why didn't you say anything?" Edward laughed. He and his father had a good relationship and their banter was quite amusing at time. It was witty and it always managed to bring a smile to my face.

"You needed to figure it out for yourself."

"I think a little push may have made things better for everyone." Edward laughed. Elizabeth grimaced a little but I could see she was trying to hold it back.

"No, you needed to do it alone." He said adamant that he'd done the right thing.

"Well, maybe a little push would have been better." Elizabeth added. "It would have stopped Bella being so silly and hurting herself. Not that it was really her fault. If you'd taken your head out of your ass long enough to really notice her emotions then we wouldn't be here."

"Liz," I said shocked at what she said. It was rude and very unlike her.

"What Bella? You expect me to be nice?"

"Yes"

"Well I can't be. He caused you to hurt yourself. I'm not okay with that."

"Well, I am. It was a misunderstanding."

"I'm sorry." Edward spoke up. "You can't know how sorry I am, and I hope that it doesn't come across as blasé but I can't even begin to process that I caused Bella to hurt herself. It hurts so much that I caused her hurt, but I've always noticed her. I care about her and maybe I was oblivious for a while but I plan on making it up to her, and hopefully you, if you'd let me."

"You think your charms will work so easily, you're wrong. You'll have to work."

"Give him a chance?" I asked, hoping she would. I couldn't handle them not getting along. They'd built quite a good relationship over the past two months and I hated that it would end up in ruins.

"If he works for it." she said, and I knew that she would. She saw the change from the room to out here. She knew that he made me happy and that I'd been pining after him for ages. She's doing it for me and my happiness. I smiled again, and leant into Edward. He let out a huge gush of air and pulled me as close as possible. I sighed with contentment, the only way this could get better was if we were completely alone but I had Edward and I was wrapped in his arms. What more could a girl ask for?

**Well, what did you think? Does it deserve a review? **

**They did gegt it togehter after all! Please...**


	8. Bliss

**Here is the next chapter. **

**Nothing much really happens but I think it's a little cute. **

**Enjoy!**

We had a hard time parting that night. We spent the remainder of the evening at the Cullen mansion, mostly wrapped in each other's arms. At dinner, he was sure to leave a hand on my thigh at all times. He ate with just one hand and would give my thigh a squeeze every now and then. We'd exchange sneaky glances and chaste kisses all night.

I think I dozed in and out of sleep on the sofa when we were watching a movie. The medication Carlisle gave me had gone to my head a little and made me a little sleepy. It was a mild side effect for me, normally they just knocked me right out.

When she thought I wasn't looking, Liz would give Edward a dirty look. I'm sure he caught a few of them but he didn't let it affect him. He continued as he was before, with the constant contact and huge cheesy grin. I'm sure my own smile matched his.

It was easy to forgive him. After the confession he gave earlier, I couldn't not forgive him for the comments. Well, honestly, there was nothing to forgive. I hadn't heard everything that he had said and I trusted that he was telling the truth on that. My hand was a little uncomfortable but I couldn't bring myself to care at this point. I knew Elizabeth was going to rip one out of me when we got home but again, I couldn't bring myself to care. He may not have declared his love but he still made a confession that he _liked _me. That was enough for now and hopefully the rest would come.

When nine o'clock came around Liz was quick to say it was time to leave. She couldn't keep the look off her face when Edward offered to take us.

"I'm sure Jasper wouldn't mind. He did bring us."

"Oh, it's no trouble. Jasper's probably studying."

"If you are sure?" she asked the hesitation was clear in her voice.

"Of course." Edward said, ignoring her tone.

"Great," I said, with a little too much enthusiasm.

Carlisle gave me a list of things to do for my wrist and told me just to take over the counter painkillers from now on. Edward led Liz and I to his Volvo. He opened the back doors and Liz climbed in. She thanked him, even if she did so with reluctance. Edward then asked if I wanted to sit with Liz but I decided no and he opened up the passenger seat door for me. I got in with as much grace as I could muster. He closed the door and ran round to the driver's side. He started the car and we began the journey home. It was a very awkward journey and nobody spoke until half way home. Edward was the one who broke the silence and it was an apology again.

"I don't think you will even know how sorry I am"

"Edward, you don't need to do this again."

"I do. You, both of you, need to know how sorry I am."

"I know" I said, pleading with him to stop. "Please stop. You have nothing to apologise for."

"Like hell he doesn't" Liz finally chipped in. "He caused you to break a part of your body, of course he should apologise and it would still never be enough."

"I broke my hand, not Edward."

"I was my fault." He said, a devastated look on his face. "I'm so sorry Bella. I will make it up to you.

I'll always remember the pain I caused you and will spend the rest of time trying to make it up to you."

"The rest of time?" I said in a shy voice. I really liked the sound of that.

"If you'll have me." He said, smiling at me. We pulled up in front of the house and Edward hopped out. He opened Liz's door and she climbed out. She looked over at me as I climbed out of the car, and then looked towards the door.

"Not too long," She said in an authoritative voice. I muttered a yes, and came round to Edward. I leant against the car and he stood in front of me. I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him closer to me. Out chests were brushing past one another and we shared an intense stare. I looked into his eyes and he looked right back. It was as if I could see past the green eyes and the handsome face, like the time I knew I loved him and saw his soul. He was beautiful inside and out.

"I could get lost in your eyes." He said, as a hand came up and brushed a stand of hair behind my ear.

"I could say the same to you." I whispered, lifting my hand and running it through the mess that was his hair. We stared into each other's eyes for a little while longer, until I noticed that Edward's eyes lifted to the window of the house.

"We have an audience," He said, with a sad smile. "I better go." He announced, stroking my cheek once more. He leant down and placed a chaste kiss on my lips and then he dropped his hand from my face.

"Would it be incredibly silly to say that I'm going to miss you?" He asked.

"Yes," I replied with a giggle. "But I'm going to miss you too so we'll be silly together."

"I'll pick you up tomorrow?" He asked.

"Of course, maybe a little earlier than normal, if you don't mind?"

"That's fine. I'll be here. Goodbye."

"Bye," I said, sadness seeping into my voice. I really was going to miss him as sad as that sounds.

He got in the car and closed the door. He rolled the window down and I leant down to give him one last kiss. It lingered a little more than I had planned but that was no problem with me.

I turned and walked towards the door as I heard his car pull away. I got to the front door and pushed it open slowly. I didn't know if I had the balls or patience to face Liz yet. I knew that it my own fault and that I must have seemed completely crazy by destroying my room. I was a little crazy but it was a crazy moment. I'm not ready to be institutionalised.

"Isabella," Liz said as I walked through the foyer. "I think we need to talk,"

"Can we do this another time?" I asked really just wanting to go to bed.

"No, I think we need to discuss this now."

"Look, I'm tired and my hand is hurting. Can we please do this in the morning?"

"If you insist," she said reluctantly. "But I'm not letting this go. I'm your guardian now."

"I know," I whispered quietly. "And I will talk to you. I promise."

"Goodnight, Isabella." She said and turned around and made her way up the stairs. I whispered a "night" and then made my way to the kitchen. I got a glass of water and then made up way upstairs.

I closed myself in my room and looked around. It was an absolute mess; I would really need to sort it out and soon. I placed the glass on the bedside table and then walked out to grab some painkillers from the bathroom.

I quickly took those and then changed for bed. I pulled out my phone from my jeans pocket and placed it on the table alongside the water. I crawled into bed and rested my head on the pillow. I almost didn't want to close my eyes. I was afraid this day would be a dream and that I would wake and find my room in the same state but no Edward to make it all worth it.

I grabbed my phone off the side and flipped it open. I pulled up an empty text message and then typed in _I miss you. _I sent it to Edward and placed the phone back. About two minutes after I sent the text, the phoned vibrated on the side. I grabbed it as quickly as I could and read the text message.

_I miss you too. I'm almost too afraid to close my eyes. I don't want this day to end. - E_

I'm the same. Terrified of closing my eyes – B

_Do you think we can talk until about 7.30 tomorrow morning? - E_

But then we would have no time together tomorrow. We'd have to sleep sometime – B

_Who says we need sleep? - E_

Science – B

_Well, we can defy science – E_

If you want to try, we can try – B

_I do. I want to be with you all the time – E_

Me too. Call me? - B

Two seconds later the phone rang.

"Hello," I whispered, worried Liz would here.

"Hello," he said, in his perfect tone that was halfway between a whisper and normal volume.

"I'm not sure what to say," I said, honestly. I didn't really have anything to say, I just wanted to hear his voice and know that he was somewhat semi-real.

"Then don't say anything, love." Love? Did he just say love? Seriously, someone, did he just say love? "I can talk for the both of us. What would you like me to talk about?" He asked, I still hadn't gotten over the love thing and couldn't get the words out.

"Bella?"

"Lo...Love?" I sputtered.

"What are you talking about? You want to talk about love?"

"No. You...You called me... that?"

"Oh! Sorry. I didn't... I mean...What?.. Really?"

"Really," I said, nodding to add emphasis, even though I knew he couldn't see.

"Oh, was that... too much?"

"No," I said quickly, causing him to chuckle. "It's not too much. It was just a surprise."

"A good one?"

"A brilliant one."

"Good. So, love, what would you like me to talk about?" He asked, emphasising the word love. I giggled a little, on a little Edward high and then replied with a "whatever you want."

"How about we talk about my mother's reaction to Carlisle telling her we were together?"

"Yes,"

"Well, I was in the music room, and then I heard this almighty squeal. I stopped playing and then I heard her heels rushing down the stairs. I heard my father's heavier steps behind, rushing just as quickly. He told me he was scared she would fall in her haste. Anyway, she ran into the music room and straight over to me. She pulled me out of my seat and hugged me impossibly hard for such a small woman and squealed finally. It was highly hilarious. She let me go and was panting like a maniac. I told her that she needed to head to the gym to work on her fitness. She slapped me lightly and then continued to rattle on about how fantastic this all was and how she knew that it would happen and so on. So the next time you see her, I hope you are prepared. She'll attack you. I warned her off but I don't think that will make any difference. I'll do my best to protect you."

"Thank you. I think I like protective Edward. He should come out more often."

"Oh, he will. Like all the time. I can't have all those guys at school leering at my girl."

"All those guys?" I said, snorting.

"Yeah, do you need a list? I can think of ten in about 3 seconds flat."

"You're exaggerating."

"I am not. Mike, Tyler, Eric.."

"Okay. Stop. I get it. But they don't leer, do they?"

"Oh, they practically drool every time you enter a room."

"Like they do," I said, with another giggle-snort.

"They do. Bella, you don't see yourself very clearly, do you?"

"I see myself just as I am. Plain, old boring Bella."

"I can fundamentally say that you are nothing of the sorts. You are not plain. You are the most gracious and beautiful creature ever to walk the planet. You are defiantly not old and you have brought more excitement into my life in the past two months than have ever experienced in my entire life."

"Edward, stop, you're making me blush."

"Bella, I don't have to say anything to make you blush."

"Thanks" I muttered sarcastically.

"It's one of the best things about you. That blush makes you the most beautiful thing in my world, in any man's world. It tints your porcelain cheeks the prefect amount of pink each time someone says anything. It reveals so much about you, more than anything else. Actually, I lie your eyes reveal the most about you then it's your blush. It's perfect, it makes you perfect."

I felt my eyes well up a little and he rattled off all of these compliments. I could hear everything he was saying but nothing processed in my brain. It boggled my mind that someone could list my insecurities and then turn them into something that made them the best part about me. Soon, he'll be complimenting my clumsiness.

"Edward, I'm beet red. You need to stop or I'll stay this way permanently."

"You'll still be the most perfect creature on the planet to me, love."

"Thank you," I said, falling in love with him a little more. I wanted to say something. Actually, I wanted to say I love you but I knew it was far too soon for that and I knew that he would freak out, put the phone down and my irrational fear of this all ending would come true and I'd have a broken hand and nothing else. I'd have a broken heart and would have scared away the only thing I really wanted.

"Bella, are you still there?"

"Yeah," I said with a yawn.

"Sleep love." He said.

"I don't want you to go."

"Then I'll stay on the line."

"But I'll be asleep."

"Just hearing you breath is enough. I can continue talking if you want?"

"Don't you need to sleep?"

"I can sleep after or defy science like I said I would earlier."

"Sleep Edward. Just don't hang up yet."

"Okay. Goodnight, love"

"Goodnight, Edward"

I feel into a sleep as he hummed a tune down the phone. I'd never heard it before but it was beautiful. It was both full of love and haunted at the same time. I made a mental note to ask him about in the morning but that didn't matter now. I had the love of my life humming to me trying to lull me into a peaceful sleep. The only thing that would make this any better would be if Edward was here right now in my arms but I couldn't see that happening for quite a while. I was content with this for now and I let sleep overtake my body, dreams escaping me and letting me rest in the best possible way.

**Well what do you think? Good (or bad) enough for a review? **

**Hope you like it.**

**Sarah x **


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